*Sung lyrics in bold.
(Queue Safety Announcement)
SEBASTIAN
Hello there, my friends! You are about to go under the sea. So for your safety, please remain seated with you hands, arms, feet, legs, flippers, and fins inside your clamshell—and keep an eye on your little ones. I can’t be everywhere, you know.
(Spanish safety spiel)
(Guests board clamshells and enter attraction.)
SCUTTLE
Let me start at the middle. Wait no—what am I thinking? That’s a terrible place to start a story. I’ll just tell you how it ends. No, wait. I got an idea: I’ll start at the beginning. I was born from a small, blue egg. Wait, wait. Too far. My story’s not near as interesting as Ariel’s. You know Ariel—the mermaid? Ah, what a voice. What a beautiful voice. But let me tell you how that evil sea witch tricked Ariel’s voice away from her. Oh, this is a great story! First, Ariel fell in love with a human. Then, King Triton got all mad and told Sebastian the crab to watch over her. Then, there was lots of dancing and singing—caw! Caw! Well, that was fun. And then—oh, I’m getting ahead of myself. The story began when Ariel fell head-over-fins in love. Wait, no—it began when King Triton asked Sebastian to keep an eye on Ariel. Wait, no—it began when King Triton got all mad, and Ursula took Ariel’s voice and—whoa, this story’s getting away from me. Gotta slow down. I’m getting ahead of myself. This is a great tale. And speaking of tails, Ariel traded hers in for a pair of… um, What do you call those? Those little thingies that make you not a fish? Legs! That’s what this story’s all about. Oh, this is such a great story about how Ariel became a human. But that Ursula. Oooh, she’s so mean. “I’ll make you human if you give me your voice,” she says. And Ariel gets all filibustered, and don’t know what she’s signing. Wait. Hold your seahorses.
(Clamshells go “under the sea” into Ariel’s Grotto.)
ARIEL
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty,
I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore.
You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty!
But who cares? No big deal.
I want more
I wanna be where the people are.
I wanna see, wanna see ’em dancing,
Walking around on those—
What do you call ’em? Oh, feet.
Flippin’ your fins you don’t get too far.
Legs are required for jumping, dancing,
Strolling along down the—
What’s that word again? “Street!”
Up where they walk, up where they run,
Up where they stay all day in the sun.
Wandering free,
Wish I could be, part of that world.
(Clamshells move to ocean floor.)
SEBASTIAN
Ariel, listen to me. Get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs. We got so much down here, there’s no reason to go up there! Don’t you understand, Ariel? This is where you belong! You may think the water’s always bluer in someone else’s lagoon, but down here is your home. Believe me, Ariel—the human world, it’s a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there.
Under the sea.
Under the sea.
Darling it’s better
Down where it’s wetter,
Take it from me!
Up on the shore, they work all day;
Out in the sun, they slave away;
While we devoting
Full time to floating
Under the sea.
Down here all the fish is happy,
As off through the waves they roll.
The fish on the land ain’t happy;
They sad ’cause they in the bowl.
But fish in the bowl is lucky—
They in for a worser fate.
One day when the boss get hungry,
BIG FISH
Guess who’s gon’ be on the plate?
SEBASTIAN
Oh no!
Under the sea.
Under the sea.
Nobody beat us,
Fry us, and eat us in fricassee.
We what the land folks loves to cook;
Under the sea, we off the hook!
We got no troubles;
Life is the bubbles!
Under the sea.
FISH CHORUS
Under the sea.
SEBASTAIN
Under the sea.
FISH CHORUS
Under the sea.
SEBASTIAN
Since life is sweet here,
We got the beat here, naturally.
FISH CHORUS
Ooh, ooh, naturally-y-y.
SEBASTIAN
Even the sturgeon an’ the ray,
They get the urge ‘n’ start to play.
We got the spirit,
You got to hear it
Under the sea
The newt play the flute,
The carp play the harp,
The plaice play the bass,
And they soundin’ sharp!
The bass play the brass,
The chub play the tub,
The fluke is the duke of soul.
FLUKE
Yeah!
SEBASTIAN
The ray he can play
The lings on the strings.
The trout rockin’ out,
The blackfish, she sings.
The smelt and the sprat,
They know where it’s at,
An’ oh, that blowfish blow!
(Clamshells move into Ursula’s cave.)
JETSAM
Poor Ariel. In love with a human… We sent her to the right place.
FLOTSAM
Yes. Ursula will help her.
JETSAM
Poor Ariel.
FLOTSAM
She swam this way. Said something about being in love with a human.
FLOTSAM
We sent her to Ursula.
JETSAM
Yes, Ursula has great powers. See for yourself.
FLOTSAM
Ooh, yes. See for yourself. Poor child. We told her that Ursula could help her and her prince be together…
JETSAM
Forever. Ursula has great powers.
FLOTSAM
So Ariel is with Ursula.
JETSAM
Wants to live happily ever after with her prince.
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM
Happily ever after!
FLOTSAM
Ursula will help her.
JETSAM
Yes. See for yourself.
FLOTSAM
And Ursula’s powers are greater even than Triton’s. She’ll help Ariel all right.
URSULA
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty.
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, “a witch.”
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways.
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch.
True? Yes.
Poor unfortunate souls.
In pain. In need.
This one longing to be thinner,
That one wants to get the girl—
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed.
Those poor unfortunate souls.
So sad! So true!
They come flocking to my cauldron,
Crying, “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them—
Yes I do!
Beluga sevruga,
Come winds of the Caspian Sea!
Larynxes glossitis,
Et max laryngitis.
La voce to me!
(Clamshells climb out of the “water” as Ariel turns into a human. They move alongside the marsh.)
SEBASTIAN
There you see her,
Sitting there across the way.
She don’t got a lot to say,
But there’s something about her!
And you don’t know why,
But you’re dying to try;
You wanna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My oh my,
Look like the boy too shy.
Ain’t gonna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad?
Ain’t it a shame? Too bad—
He gonna miss the girl!
Now’s your moment,
Floating in a blue lagoon.
Boy, you better do it soon,
No time will be better.
She don’t say a word,
And she won’t say a word
Until you kiss the girl!
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My oh my,
Look like the boy too shy.
Ain’t gonna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad?
Ain’t it a shame? Too bad—
He gonna miss the girl!
(Ariel sings as she stands with Eric. Ursula burns in the distance.)
ARIEL
Ah, ah, ah, etc.
(Clamshells move to finale room. Sea and land creatures dance. King Triton smiles. Ariel and Eric wave.)
SCUTTLE
As you can see, everything worked out swell for Ariel. Of course, sometimes I get a little confounded and confabralated, but otherwise I’m—what’s the word—nuts! Ah, it’ll come to me… But anyway, that’s the story of our little mermaid. Of course she ain’t a mermaid no more—she’s a pretzel now! I mean a princess… a human princess. Well, that’s the way I remember it anyway. Yeah… Where was I? Oh, right! And they all lived—now how does that go—happily ever after! They also all lived in a big castle, which ain’t so bad either! That’s my favorite kind of story—right? Am I right? I’m not such a birdbrain after all!
(Clamshells return to unload area.)
SEBASTIAN
Hahaha, it was so good to see you! We hope you had a wonderful time. Step out to your left now. Hahaha, there you are. Hope you had a wonderful time. Now, please step out to your left. Goodbye!
(Attraction ends.)
(Safety announcements heard when attraction vehicles stop unexpectedly.)
SEBASTIAN
What’s this? You’ve come to a stop! Hmm, maybe it’s that sea witch. Listen to me—stay seated in your clamshell while I get to the bottom of this.
I bring good news! Your clamshells will begin moving immediately. Stay in your seats now.
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