Splash Mountain (Magic Kingdom)

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Queue Audio Loop)

CHILD #1 (Voiceover)
Grandpa. Grandpa!

BR’ER FROG (Voiceover)
Hmm?

CHILD #1
Oh, please tell us the Br’er Rabbit story.

CHILD #2 (Voiceover)
Oh yes! The Br’er Rabbit Splash Mountain story!

BR’ER FROG
Br’er Rabbit, eh? Well, now… I recollect there was this one time on Splash Mountain, where it was just one of those zip-a-dee-doo-dah days.

(Children laugh.)

CHILD #2
Grandpa, would you pretty-please tell us the story about Br’er Rabbit?

CHILD #1
Grandpa, Grandpa—please tell us the Br’er Rabbit story.

BR’ER FROG
Br’er Rabbit, eh? Hmm, well now… Br’er Rabbit’s adventures didn’t happen just yesterday, nor the day before. They happened a long, long time ago.

(Children laugh.)

CHILD #2
Grandpa, Grandpa—tell us a tale about Br’er Rabbit please.

CHILD #1
Yes, about Br’er Rabbit’s adventures in Splash Mountain! Pretty please…

BR’ER FROG
Br’er Rabbit? Hmm, well this here Br’er Rabbit tale didn’t happen yesterday, nor the day before.  It was a long time ago. In them days, everything was mighty satisfactual!

(Children laugh.)

(Guests board logs, which leave the loading area.)

ANNOUNCER
For your safety, please stay seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the log. And be sure to watch your kids! Have a zip-a-dee-doo-dah ride!

(Logs start climbing first hill.)

BR’ER FROG
Folks hereabouts say Br’er Rabbit’s leavin’ home. I say he’s headin’ for trouble. Mark my words—Br’er Rabbit’s gonna put his foot in Br’er Fox’s mouth one of these days. Sooner than later, Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear gonna catch that Br’er Rabbit for sure.

(Logs go over first hill and around bend. Logs climb second hill.)

(Music changes to banjo version of “How Do You Do?” Bees buzz and then Br’er Rabbit begins singing. Logs go down another hill into The Fishing Place, where frogs and fishing birds take over singing.)

BR’ER RABBIT/FROGS/FISHING BIRDS
“How do you do?” Mighty pleasant greetin’.
“How do you do?” Say it when you’re meetin’.
“How do you do?” With every one repeatin’
“Pretty good, sure as you’re born.” (Howdy!)

What goes up is sure to come down.
A penny lost is a penny found.
“How do you do?”
And you “howdy” back.
A little bit of this and a little bit of that.

How do you do? (Pleased to meet ya!)
Fine, how are you? (Nice seein’ ya!)
How you come on? (How you come on?)
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.

Stop jumpin’ around,
You’ll run out of breath!
Why don’t you sit back
And calm yourself?

You can hurry on now if you must.
We’ll do what we like, ’cause
That suits us.
(Howdy!)

How do you do? Mighty pleasant greetin’.
Pretty good, sure as you’re born. (Howdy!)
Pretty good, sure as you’re born. (Howdy do!)

How do you do? Mighty pleasant greetin’.
How do you do? Say it when you’re meetin’.
How do you do? With every one repeatin’
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.

The weather is good, the fishin’ is fine.
Oh, what do we do with all of our time?
Well, we sit and we think and we wiggle our toes.
That’s what you ask us, that’s what we know!

Pretty good, sure as you’re born.
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.

How do you do? (Hi there!)
Fine, how are you? (Howdy do?)
How you come on? (Nice seein’ ya!)
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.
Pretty good, sure as you’re born.

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m lookin’ for a little more adventure.

MR. BLUEBIRD
He’s headin’ for a little bit of fun now.

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m hopin’ for a little more excitement.

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Time to be movin’ along!

BR’ER RABBIT
I’ve had enough of this ol’ briar patch.

MR. BLUEBIRD
He thinks an adventure’s about to hatch.
He’s movin’ on,

BR’ER RABBIT
Say goodbye to me.
Down at the Laughin’ Place is where I’ll be!

MR. BLUEBIRD
He’s lookin’ for a little more adventure.

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m headin’ for a little bit of fun now.

MR. BLUEBIRD
I’m hopin’ for a little more excitement,

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Time to be movin’ along!

MR. BLUEBIRD
Stop jumpin’, Br’er Rabbit, you’ll run out of breath!
Why don’t you sit back and calm yourself?

BR’ER RABBIT
Well, the grasshopper jump, so do the flea.
I do what I likes, and I suits me.
I’m heading for—

MR. BLUEBIRD
A little bit of fun now.

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Time to be movin’ along!
It’s time to be movin’ along!

MR. BLUEBIRD
The weather is good, and the fishin’ is fine.
Now what’ll you do with all of your time?

BR’ER RABBIT
Oh I zigs and I zags, I tos and I fros.
That’s what you asked me, and that’s what you know!

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Time to be movin’ along!
Time to be movin’ along!

BR’ER FOX
Now’s our chance to set a trap for Br’er Rabbit.

BR’ER BEAR
(Guffaws.)

BR’ER FOX
So Br’er Rabbit’s looking for adventure, eh?

BR’ER BEAR
(Guffaws.)

BR’ER FOX
I’m gonna catch that Br’er Rabbit this time, for sure!

BR’ER BEAR
(Guffaws.)

BR’ER PORCUPINE
He’s lookin’ for a little more adventure,
But he’s headin’ for a little bit of trouble.
He’s headin’ for a little bit of danger.
Time to be turnin’ around!

Hey, Br’er Rabbit, better mend your ways.
You’re headed for trouble one of these days!
Warnin’ this rabbit, I’m afraid, is a waste,
He’s makin’ his way to the Laughing Place.

He’s lookin’ for a little more adventure,
But he’s headin’ for a little bit of trouble.
He’s headin’ for a little bit of danger.
Time to be turnin’ around!

Careful, Br’er Rabbit, better mend your ways.
You’re headed for trouble one of these days!
Warnin’ this rabbit, I’m afraid, is a waste,
He’s makin’ his way to the Laughing Place.

He’s headin’ for a little bit of danger.
Time to be turnin’ around.
Time to be turnin’ around.

YOUNG RABBIT
There goes that Br’er Rabbit, being chased by Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear.

BR’ER BEAR
Everybody’s got a Laughing Place, a Laughing Place…

BR’ER FOX
Look here, Brother Bear—this has gone far enough. Now get down from that tree! We gotta catch that rabbit what’s makin’ a fool outta you!

BR’ER BEAR
He is?

BR’ER RABBIT
Haha, you boys can’t catch me! Why, my Laughin’ Place is where I’m bound!

BR’ER BEAR
Everybody got a Laughing Place, ho ho ho…

BR’ER FOX
You sure done made a fool of yourself, Br’er Bear. You done sprung my Br’er Rabbit trap, and now he’s laughin’ at you!

BR’ER BEAR
He is?

BR’ER RABBIT
Br’er Fox! No need to get hung up over Br’er Bear! You need a good dose of my Laughin’ Place.

BR’ER ROADRUNNER
Where is this secret Laughin’ Place Br’er Rabbit’s talkin’ about? Can I go too? Hey y’all—hold up there! I wants to see this here Laughin’ Place old Br’er Rabbit’s talkin’ about.

(Logs go into the Laughing Place.)

POSSUMS/FROGS/TURTLES
Everybody’s got a Laughing Place,
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho.
Take your frown, turn it upside-down,
And you’ll find yours we know-ho-ho!

Honey and rainbows on our way.
We laugh because our work is play.
Boy are we in luck!
We’re visiting our Laughing Place,
Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk!
Yuk yuk yuk!

Everybody’s got a Laughing Place,
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho.
Take a smile there, for a while,
And you’ll find yours, we know-ho-ho!

Honey and rainbows on your way.
Take that frown, turn it upside-dow,n
And soon you’ll find you’re here to stay.

Everybody’s got a Laughing Place,
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho.
Come on in, give us all a grin,
And you’ll find yours, I know-ho-ho!

Laughing is how we spend our day.
Plenty o’ fun is what we make.
Boy are we in luck!
We’re visiting our Laughing Place.
Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk!

Everybody’s got a Laughing Place,
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho.
We’ve found one that’s filled with fun,
And you’ll find yours we know-ho-ho.

Everybody’s got a Laughing Place,
A Laughing Place to go-ho-ho!
Take that frown, turn it upside down,
And you’ll find yours we say-hey-hey.
And soon you’ll find you’re here to stay!

BR’ER BEAR
What Laughin’ Place? There’s just bees in here.

BR’ER FOX
Ow! Ow!

BR’ER RABBIT
(Squeals and laughs.)

BR’ER FOX
Ow! Ooh! Oh, oh, oh, etc.

BR’ER BEAR
I don’t see no Laughin’ Place. Just bees!

BR’ER RABBIT
Hee, hahahaha!

(Logs go down big hill with sign pointing “To the Laughin’ Place”)

(Bees buzz Everybody’s Got a Laughing Place.)

BR’ER BEAR AND BR’ER FOX
Ow, ooh, ooh, oh, etc.

BR’ER RABBIT
(Laughing)
I do declare, Br’er Bear, my Laughin’ Place sure gonna give you hives! Ha! I didn’t say this was your Laughin’ Place, Br’er Bear—I said it was mine! And I’m laughin’!

GOPHERS
Wee! Wow! Woo, etc.

(Music turns ominous as BR’ER FOX has caught BR’ER RABBIT)

BR’ER FOX
I bet you wish you’d never been born, huh, Br’er Rabbit? Well, you mine! You mine (Laughs)! And you’ll not be gettin’ away this time!

BR’ER RABBIT
Ohhh, what are you doin’, Br’er Fox? Let me go!!

BR’ER FOX
Say, Br’er Rabbit, how ’bout I take you to my Laughin’ Place (Laugh)? ‘Cept I don’t expect you’ll be doin’ much laughin’ (Laughs)!

BR’ER RABBIT
Ohh, where you takin’ me, Br’er Fox? Let me go!

VULTURE #1
Everybody’s got a Laughing Place.

VULTURE #2
Maybe this one is yours…

VULTURE #1
And wait till you see that old Br’er Rabbit!

VULTURE #2
He sure ain’t laughin’ no more!

VULTURE #1
If you finally found your Laughing Place…

VULTURE #2
How come you aren’t laughing?

VULTURE #1
That Br’er Rabbit, he learned his lesson all right.

VULTURE #2
But I’m afraid he learned it too late!

VULTURE #1
Laughing Place?

VULTURE #2
We’ve got your Laughing Place. Right up here.

VULTURE #1
So, you’re looking for a Laughing Place, eh?

VULTURE #2
We’ll show you a Laughing Place!

VULTURE #1
Time to be turnin’ around.

VULTURE #2
If only you could!

BR’ER FOX
Well, Br’er Rabbit, I expect I’ll just have to skin ya!

BR’ER RABBIT
Go ahead, Br’er Fox, skin me if you like. Please don’t fling me in that briar patch!

BR’ER FOX
Well, now, Br’er Rabbit, maybe I’ll just have to roast ya!

BR’ER RABBIT
Yessir, Br’er Fox. But whatever you do, please don’t fling me in that briar patch!

BR’ER FOX
You know, Br’er Rabbit, I think I’ll have to hang ya!

BR’ER RABBIT
That’s all right, Br’er Fox—hang me if you gotta! But please, please don’t fling me in that briar patch!

BR’ER BEAR
Briar patch? Briar patch!

(Logs go down the big drop.)

(Music changes to “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.”)

CHORUS
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
My oh my, what a wonderful day!
Welcoming back Br’er Rabbit today.
We always knew that he’d get away!

He’s had enough of movin’ on now.
It’s where he’s born and bred in.
The briar patch is where he’s headin’!
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
My oh my, what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine heading our way.
We never doubted he’d get away!

Moving on taught him a lesson.
You’ve learned it well, Br’er Rabbit.
Gettin’ caught’s a nasty habit.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Wonderful feeling, feeling this way!

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear are gonna get it today.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
That hungry gator’s gettin’ his way!

Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder.
It’s the truth, it’s actual.
Everything is satisfactual.

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Wonderful feelling, wonderful day!

BR’ER FOX
This is all your fault, Br’er Bear. So stop that singing! Ow! Ow!

BR’ER BEAR
My oh my, what a wonderful… Zip-a-dee-doo-dah…

BR’ER FOX
Br’er Bear, this is your fault! You flung us into this here predicament. Now stop that singing! Ow! Ow!

BR’ER RABBIT
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Home sweet home is the lesson today.
My, oh my! Born and bred in the briar patch, and I’m here to stay!

Oh, I’m thru with moving on now.
It’s where I’m born and bred in.
Briar patch is where I’m headin’!

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m back in my home now, and I’m sure gonna stay!

MR. BLUEBIRD
I told you, Br’er Rabbit! There ain’t no place further from trouble.

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Home sweet home is the lesson today.

BR’ER RABBIT
Don’t you worry, Mr. Bluebird! I learned my lesson.

MR. BLUEBIRD
The briar patch is where you were born, and the briar patch is where you’re gonna stay.

BR’ER RABBIT
One of these days, I gotta thank Br’er Fox and Br’er Bear for flingin’ me back home to my briar patch.

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m back in my home now, and I’m gonna stay.
My, oh my! Born and bred in the briar patch, and I’m here to stay!

MR. BLUEBIRD
I’m glad you made it home safe and sound this time, Br’er Rabbit!

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

BR’ER RABBIT
I’m sure glad to be here…

MR. BLUEBIRD
And he’s here to stay!

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

BR’ER RABBIT
Home sweet home—

MR. BLUEBIRD
Is the lesson today.

BR’ER RABBIT
Don’t you worry, Mr. Bluebird! I learned my lesson.

MR. BLUEBIRD
I’m glad you made it home safe and sound this time, Br’er Rabbit.

BR’ER RABBIT
Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder,
It’s the truth!

MR. BLUEBIRD
It’s the truth!

BR’ER RABBIT
It’s actual!

MR. BLUEBIRD
It’s actual!

BR’ER RABBIT AND MR. BLUEBIRD
Everything is satisfactual!
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Wonderful feelin’, wonderful day.

(Logs return to unload area.)

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