Indiana Jones Adventure (Disneyland)

(Queue area.)

ARCHEOLOGIST (When guests pull the rope)

Uh, oh… Oh, no! Oh blimey!!

Careful! It’s an insightful artifact down here. Now, “fifty years of sorrow shall befall the destroyer of this, uh, vessel.”

Oh, no!

Blast it all — don’t pull the rope! You don’t want to break an art — (Crash.) Oh, dear…

I say, stop mucking about up there!

Oh, blast. Not again! Ahhhhhhh! (Thud.)

Leave off the rope, old chap. Please, old fellow, I’ve a frightfully valuable artifact down here. Oh no, I had a terribly valuable artifact down here.

I say, leave off the rope, old chap. Be a jolly good sport there.

(Preshow and safety video.)

(Onscreen text reads “Eye on the Globe,” and then “Top Stories: Tourists Flock to Mysterious Temple. Eye on the Globe.”)

VIDEO ANNOUNCER
In the remote jungles of India’s Lost Delta — from all over the world, they are flocking here, following the strange story of the mysterious temple and gifts from the gods. The story begins one year ago. World-famous archeologist Indiana Jones follows a tattered map to an ancient edifice. Could this be the fabled Temple of the Forbidden Eye? According to Jones, the temple contains a Chamber of Destiny, where an ancient idol lured visitors with promises of gifts: eternal youth, earthly riches, or visions of the future. But any who looked into the eyes of this double-dealing deity took a detour to doom. A chilling tale indeed, but not chilling enough to cool off the hot pursuit of thousands of greedy globetrotters. They’re ready for a supernatural shopping spree.

(Onscreen text reads “Keep your Eye on the Globe. The End.”)

SALLAH
Welcome, my friends, to the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. I, Sallah, shall now give you counsel to seek out a miraculous journey. Here in your transportation devices are ingenious pouches for safekeeping all earthly treasures when the journey becomes, uh, bumpy. And to keep you safe and sound, here are special belts attached into the seats. Simply pull it from the right, inserting it into the left, like so. You see the excellence of this invention? Your off-road journey is high-speed and turbulent — going over rough and rugged terrain, and then suddenly you are turning sharply, and dropping suddenly! It is unlike anything you have ever experienced, I assure you. Now, my friends, one final word of advice: once you have entered the Chamber of Destiny, look not into the eyes of the idol. That would be dangerous… very dangerous. Well, my friends, the moment is drawing near. Already I am envious of the wonders that await you — if you avoid the eyes of Mara, that is.

(Onscreen text reads “Eye on the Globe,” and then “Newswire: Riddle of the Lost Tourists. Eye on the Globe.”)

VIDEO ANNOUNCER
The Temple of the Forbidden Eye continues to beckon visitors from around the globe! They’ve all heard the tantalizing tales — the matronly movie star made young again; the paupers who became Rockefellers in these ruins. But a darker tale has surfaced. Many visitors are claiming loved ones have disappeared inside. Could it be they looked into the eyes of the idol? The reports reach Indiana Jones, who returns to the site of his great discovery. Our newsreel camera follows Dr. Jones as he enters the temple. One week later, and still no Indiana Jones. Could Jones himself have locked eyes with the idol? Or will he solve the riddle of the lost tourists? When, and if, he does, Eye on the Globe will be there.

(Onscreen text reads “Keep your Eye on the Globe. The End.”)

SALLAH
Welcome, my friends, to the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. I, Sallah, shall now give you counsel to seek out a miraculous journey. Here in your transportation devices are ingenious pouches for safekeeping all earthly treasures when the journey becomes, uh, bumpy. And to keep you safe and sound, here are special belts attached into the seats. Simply pull it from the right, inserting it into the left, like so. You see the excellence of this invention? Your off-road journey is high-speed and turbulent — going over rough and rugged terrain, and then suddenly you are turning sharply, and dropping suddenly! It is unlike anything you have ever experienced, I assure you. Now, my friends, one final word of advice: once you have entered the Chamber of Destiny, look not into the eyes of the idol. That would be dangerous… very dangerous. Well, my friends, the moment is drawing near. Already I am envious of the wonders that await you — if you avoid the eyes of Mara, that is.

(Guests proceed toward loading area.)

SALLAH (Voiceover)
Hello again, my esteemed friends! When you board your transport, put all earthly treasures in the pouch directly in front of you — unless of course you wish to lose them in the temple. (Laughs.) Oh, but seriously, our journey through the temple is rough. To keep safe and sound, stay well seated with seatbelt fastened and your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the transport. If you are traveling with children, you must keep a close watch on them. Your transport approaches. I wish you a successful and wondrous expedition.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

(Guests board ride vehicles.)

SALLAH (Voiceover)
Are you there? Come in! Splendid. You have only to get your seat straps in. Buckle up tightly now!

(Vehicles begin moving.)

SALLAH
Uh, hello. Hello. Oh, my friends, uh, the brakes may be needing a little adjustment. Easy on the curves.

MARA
You have chosen wisely. This path leads to timeless youth and beauty. You looked into my eyes. Your path now leads to the Gates of Doom!

You seek the future. I will lift the Curtain of Time. It is your destiny. You looked into my eyes! Your destiny now lies beyond the Gates of Doom!

You seek the Treasure of Mara? Glittering gold — it is yours. You looked into my eyes! Your path now leads to the Gates of Doom!

(Vehicles careen toward the Gates of Doom, but INDIANA JONES is pushing them shut.)

INDIANA JONES
Great… I ask for help and they send me tourists. Swerve left — up to the left. Ugh, you had to look, didn’t you? Tourists! You had to look, didn’t you? Oh, we’ve got a problem here. Turn left! Up to the left — and watch it, there’s big steps up there! You looked?! There’s powers here you can’t possibly comprehend. Quick — take the left passage! It’s the only way out. Ugh, ugh, nice driving pal!

(Vehicles turn left and pass through temple chambers and across the bridge. Upon entering the chamber filled with snakes, a giant cobra tries to strike.)

INDIANA JONES
Snakes? You guys are on your own! Careful. Watch out for anything that slithers.

(Vehicles pass through a chamber crawling with rats and then past spear-wielding warriors trying to hit the vehicle. Suddenly, the vehicles approach INDIANA JONES hanging from rope under giant boulder.)

INDIANA JONES
Careful down there. I’ve got a bad feeling about this, ugh. Uh-oh, uh-oh, get me out of here! Hey, it’s dark down here! A rescue — just what I need… Uh-oh, careful! We got company! Sallah, get some light down here! There you are. Let me in! Let me in! Uh-oh, no. Get me out! Get me out! Hey, get a light on down here! You made it! Uh-oh, back up! Back up!

(Vehicles dive under the boulder and narrowly miss getting crushed. Rounding a corner, INDIANA JONES is seen standing next to the cracked boulder.)

INDIANA JONES
Next time, you wear blindfolds, okay?  There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? Tourists! Next time, you’re on your own. Ugh, now, don’t tell me that wasn’t big fun. Tourists, why does it have to be tourists? Not bad — for tourists. Now, stay out of trouble, will ya? You were good. You were very, very good.

(Vehicles return to unload area.)

SALLAH
Ah, welcome back. You entered the Observatory of the Future. In that case, I don’t even have to tell you that we would like you to stay seated until your transport comes to a complete stop.

Friends, I celebrate your arrival! If you drank too much from the Fountain of Youth, we will be happy to assist you with strollers. (Laughs.) But please, stay seated until your transport comes to a complete stop.

Greetings. You will no doubt be having many jewels and coins in your possession. Please, stay seated until the transport comes to a complete stop, then step out carefully with your treasure.

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