Hocus Pocus Villain Spelltacular (Magic Kingdom)

(Lightning flashes over the castle as thunder claps.)

THACKERY BINKS (VOICEOVER)
Good evening, friends. Tonight, on All Hallows’ Eve, your world and the magical world collide for but one night—a night filled with a little trick, a little treat, and a bit of hocus pocus.

(CHORUS begins entering and singing underscore of “Season of the Witch.” They dance with candelabras.)

SOLOIST
When I look out my window,
Many sights to see.
And when I look in my window,
So many different people to be
That it’s strange, so strange.

You’ve got to pick up every stitch,
You’ve got to pick up every stitch,
Two rabbits running in the ditch,
Oh no! 

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.
Must be the season of the witch.

(Dance break.)

CHORUS
Oh no!
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.
Must be the season of the witch!

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
When I look!

(Applause. More thunder and lightning. The SANDERSON SISTERS—WINIFRED, MARY, and SARAH enter from behind the CHORUS.)

WINIFRED
(Cackles.) The Sanderson Sisters are back!

SARAH
Hi!

MARY
We’re back! Back where, Winnie?

WINIFRED
Isn’t it obvious?! We’re back in the living world.

MARY
The living world!

WINIFRED
Yes—don’t you understand?

MARY
No…

WINIFRED
We’ve harnessed the magic found within this kingdom to return for but one night.

SARAH
One night’s all I need!

WINIFRED
And we shall make it a grand night—

MARY
Winnie…

WINIFRED
—full of spellbinding tricks and treats.

MARY
Winnie!

WINIFRED
A night that will long be remembered!

MARY
Winnie!!

WINIFRED
What is it, Mary?!

MARY
I smell children.

SARAH (looking out into the audience)
Children!!

MARY
There are so many of them—dressed funny!

WINIFRED
Fools! Of course there are children. (To audience.) Tell me, what year is it? I said what year is it?

(Audience yells out the year.)

SARAH
2016!

WINIFRED
Sisters, it’s been 23 years since we last returned.

MARY
We’re getting better at this…

WINIFRED
And it’s All Hallows’ Eve—our favorite time of year.

MARY
Winnie, remember what happened on our last Halloween?

SARAH
We turned to dust! Dust! Dust! Dust! Dust—

WINIFRED
(Punches SARAH in the stomach.) Ugh! Don’t remind me!

SARAH
Sorry Winnie…

WINIFRED
That is why we have returned: to celebrate Halloween and to throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen. (Laughs.) But we’ll need some help.

(CHORUS begins singing “oohs”)

MARY
Oh Sarah!

SARAH
I was thinking the same thing, dear sisters.

Come, little children,
I’ll take thee away
Into a land of enchantment.

Come, little children,
The time’s come to play!
Here in my garden of magic.

(CHORUS has gathered around SARAH.)

MARY
Brava! Every time…

SARAH
Winnie, here you go.

WINIFRED
Well done, Sarah! I knew I kept you around for a reason. Now, let’s get this party started! We will need a spell for the Hocus Pocus Party Potion. Well, sisters, hand me the spell!

SARAH
What spell…?

WINIFRED
What spell?! The spell I asked you to hold onto to give me at a time like this!

(SARAH and MARY look around and under their dresses.)

SARAH
We can’t find it, Winnie…

WINIFRED
Why have I been cursed with such sisters?

MARY
Perhaps some chocolate will cheer you up? (Hands WINIFRED chocolate.)

WINIFRED
What is this?

MARY
Chocolate. Dark chocolate—the only candy I like.

WINIFRED
(Unfurling candy.) No—this?!

MARY
It’s the spell!

WINIFRED
And what’s it doing wrapped around Halloween chocolate?

MARY
I don’t know, Winnie!

WINIFRED
Enough! We’ve lost enough time as is. Sisters, to the cauldron!

(The SISTERS run to the giant cauldron, which is smoking ominously.)

WINIFRED
(Hands the spell to SARAH.) Pray tell, what is the first ingredient, Sarah?

SARAH (Reading)
“Sinister shadows!”

WINIFRED AND MARY (ad lib)
Ooh, sinister shadows…

SARAH
“As dark as midnight, and as mysterious as the unknown.”

MARY
But Winnie, where are we gonna get shadows that sinister…?

(DR. FACILIER appears on the other side of the stage.)

DR. FACILIER
Hello, ladies.

MARY AND SARAH (ad lib)
Look, a man! It’s the man who took the shadows away, etc.

WINIFRED
And who are you?

DR. FACILIER
A tip of the hat from the one and only Dr. Facilier—also known as the Shadow Man.

WINIFRED
Shadow Man?

MARY AND SARAH
Shadow Man!

DR. FACILIER
Now I hear y’all are in need of some sinister shadows. Well, you’re in luck because ladies, I can deliver.

WINIFRED
And what makes you think we need your help, “Shadow Man”? (Laughs.)

(MARY and SARAH laugh too.)

DR. FACILIER
Don’t you disrespect me, li’l lady!

WINIFRED
Little?

DR. FACILIER
Don’t you derogate or deride.
You’re in my world now, not your world,
And I got friends on the other side.

SISTERS
He’s got friends on the other side!

WINIFRED
Perhaps he knows mother!

SISTERS
Mother! (They look down together.)

DR. FACILIER
Sit down at my table. Put your mind at ease.
If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please.
I can read your future, I can change it ’round some too.
I’ll look deep into your heart and soul—
You got a soul, don’t you?
Make your wildest dreams come true!

I got voodoo, I got hoodoo,
I got things I ain’t even tried!
And I got friends on the other side.

SISTERS AND CHORUS
He’s got friends on the other side

DR. FACILIER
The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well!
The cards, the cards, just take three.

MARY
We’ll take these!

DR. FACILIER
Take a little trip into your future with me.
Shake my hand. Come on, girls—won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?

WINIFRED
(Shakes his hand.) We’d love to!

DR. FACILIER
Yes!
Are you ready?

CHORUS
Are you ready?

DR. FACILIER
Are you ready?
Transformation central!

CHORUS
Transformation central!

DR. FACILIER
Reformation central!

CHORUS
Reformation central!

DR. FACILIER
Transmogrification central!

Can you feel it?
You’re changin’, you’re changin’,
You’re changin’ all right.
I hope you’re satisfied!

WINIFRED
Yes, thank you!

DR. FACILIER
But if you ain’t, don’t blame me.
You can blame my friends on the other side!

MARY AND SARAH
We got what we wanted!

WINIFRED
We got what we need!

(DR. FACILIER laughs as the song ends. Applause.)

WINIFRED
Wonderful! Our Hocus Pocus Party Potion is coming together. Thank you, Dr. Facilier.

SARAH
Can we keep him?

WINIFRED
Focus! Now, Mary—

MARY
Yes?

WINIFRED
What is our next dastardly ingredient?

MARY (Reading)
Uh… “fairest mares”

WINIFRED
What is that—some type of horse?

MARY
Wait! There was chocolate smudged over the words… (Laughs.)

WINIFRED
(Mimics MARY.) There was chocolate— (Snapping.) Gimme that!

MARY
Winnie! Do we need to hold a calming circle?

WINIFRED
I am calm!!

MARY
Thou art not being honest with thyself—take my hand.

(MARY and SARAH grab WINIFRED’S hands.)

WINIFRED
(Shakes them off.) You fools! There is no time! The ingredient! (Slapping MARY.) Read the ingredient!!

MARY
Fine. (She steps away from WINIFRED, looking wary. Reading.) “Nefarious nightmares: as terrifying as the shadows on the moon at night—filling dreams to the brim with fright.”

(Music for “Oogie Boogie’s Song” has begun and grows louder. SISTERS and CHORUS react to three knocks. The gates upstage open and OOGIE BOOGIE enters, laughing.)

MARY
Come in!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Well, well, well… What have we here?

WINIFRED
I might ask the same of you, you—well, what are you?

OOGIE BOOGIE
Why, I’m just little old Oogie Boogie is all. You know, the shadow on the moon at night—filling your dreams to the brim with fright!

SARAH
Winnie, it’s nefarious nightmares!

WINIFRED
What makes you so scary, you overstuffed potato sack? (Laughs.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
My dear, I’m the stuff of your worst nightmares.

WINIFRED
We don’t have nightmares; we cause nightmares!

OOGIE BOOGIE
(Laughs.)
You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’!
I can’t believe my eyes.
You’re jokin’ me, you gotta be,
No matter how she tries.

She’s ancient, she’s ugly!
I don’t know which is worse.
I might just split a seam now,
If I don’t die laughin’ first!

WINIFRED
Who does he think he is?!

MARY
How rude!

OOGIE BOOGIE
When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There’s trouble close at hand,
You’d better pay attention now,
‘Cause I’m the Boogie Man!

And if you aren’t shakin’,
There’s something very wrong.
‘Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song.
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh, he’s the Oogie Boogie Man.

OOGIE BOOGIE
Well if I’m feelin’ antsy,
And there’s nothin’ much to do,
I might just cook a special batch
Of snake and spider stew!

MARY
Yummy!

OOGIE BOOGIE
And don’t ya know the one thing
That would make it work so nice?
A roly-poly Sandy Sis to add a little spice.
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Oh, yeah! He’s the Oogie Boogie Man!

OOGIE BOOGIE
You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’!
I can’t believe my ears…
Would someone shut this sister up?
I’m drownin’ in my tears.

It’s funny, I’m laughing!
You really are too much.
And now, with your permission
I’m going to do my stuff.

SARAH
Oh, what are you gonna do?

OOGIE BOOGIE
I’m gonna do the best I can.

(Dance break. The SISTERS are controlled by OOGIE BOOGIE.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
Oh, sisters, you’re something—
You put me in a spin.
You aren’t comprehending
The position that you’re in.

It’s hopeless, you’re finished.
You haven’t got a prayer
‘Cause I’m Mr. Oogie Boogie
And you ain’t going nowhere!

Boo!!

(SISTERS scream. Applause.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
Now that’s what I call “nefarious nightmares.”

WINIFRED
What just happened?!

MARY
You see, he scared us and made our nightmares true, and then you cried, and I know I cried—

WINIFRED
Enough!! We get it. (Turns and sees OOGIE BOOGIE right behind her. She jumps.) Ooh, uh, thank you Mr… Boogie. (Shakes his hand.)

SARAH
(Takes his hand.) Can we keep him too?

WINIFRED
Focus! Focus! Sisters, it’s working! The Hocus Pocus Party Potion is coming together! Quick, read me the last ingredient.

MARY AND SARAH (Reading)
Uhh, “frightful friends!” Frightful friends! Frightful friends!

WINIFRED
(Smacks SARAH.) Let me see that! (Takes the spell and reads.) Let’s see here, “Frightful friends who add power to the potion—after all, a party is only as good as those you invite”?! What is this?!

MARY
It’s actually a very nice sentiment if you think about it—

WINIFRED
(Smacks MARY.) Nooo, fools! We don’t have any friends.

SARAH
We’re your friends!

WINIFRED
No, we’re sisters. I have to like you…

SARAH
Oh…

WINIFRED
This may be the end. I just wanted to throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen. Goodbye, cruel world!!

MARY AND SARAH (ad lib)
Goodbye, bye-bye, etc.

(A flash of green fire and smoke erupts from upstage, scaring the SISTERS. MALEFICENT enters.)

MALEFICENT
My, my… another party to which I wasn’t invited.

WINIFRED
Maleficent! (Bowing.) Oh great one, if we had known you would come, we would have invited you for sure.

SARAH
(Bowing.) We are not worthy!

MARY
(Aside.) Maleficent—she is greener than I thought. And those horns are huge? How does she sleep—

WINIFRED
Silence!

MALEFICENT
I will consider it but an oversight then, hmm?

WINIFRED
Perhaps you could help us with our Hocus Pocus Party Potion so that we may throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen?

MALEFICENT
Perhaps…

WINIFRED
(Groveling.) We were wondering, your excellency, if you would help us with our last ingredient?

MALEFICENT
And that would be…?

SARAH
Frightful friends! Frightful friends—

(MALEFICENT makes thunder crack. SISTERS jump back in fear.)

MALEFICENT
Lore and legend are full of villainous fiends. I suppose for such an occasion, I could conjure a few…

WINIFRED
I knew we would see eye to eye!

MALEFICENT
Listen well, all of you. If it is frightful friends that you request, each incantation calls forth a guest.

(EVIL QUEEN enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Come now, oh queen by power and right. Bring poison apples, and give us a fright!

(EVIL QUEEN hands a poison apple to a CHORUS member, who gives it to MARY to put in the cauldron.)

WINIFRED
Poison apple!

(HADES enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
From the underworld’s ungodly domain, we call forth the ruler of death and disdain.

(HADES summons fire and hands a fate’s eye up to the SISTERS at the cauldron.)

WINIFRED
Fate’s eye!

(CRUELLA DE VIL enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Come and inspire, with devious thoughts, a desire for furs—all covered in spots!

(CRUELLA DE VIL hands a bone up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Dog bone!

(CAPTAIN HOOK enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Impress us, oh pirate from a faraway land. Strike fear in our hearts with a hook for a hand!

(CAPTAIN HOOK hands a clock up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Ticking clock!

(JAFAR enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
We invite and compel here a slithering snake, with a sorcerer’s power to give but not take!

(JAFAR passes a golden scarab beetle up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Scarab beetle!!

(LADY TREMAINE enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Enter, good lady—by thee we are graced. Though manners be proper, they are but two-faced.

(LADY TREMAINE passes a large key to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Golden key! (Walks down from the cauldron.) I have never seen so many frightful friends in one place.

MARY
Is this what it feels like to be popular?

WINIFRED
The potion is almost complete. It’s just missing one last thing—the hair of an innocent. (Looks left and right.) No, none of you? Imagine…

SARAH (Luring a CHORUS member)
Come little children,
I’ll take thee away.

WINIFRED
Oh, hello. I’ll be needing this! (Plucks a hair from the CHORUS member.) Thank you!

(SISTERS run up to the cauldron and add the hair. A gush of smoke erupts. WINIFRED cackles.)

WINIFRED
The Hocus Pocus Party Potion is complete. It’s time to party!

SARAH
But Winnie, what about them? (Points to the audience.)

WINIFRED
Leave our not-so-scary friends to me.

(Music begins.)

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.
You can’t stop the things I do—I ain’t lyin’.
It’s been 300 years, right down to the day.
Now the witch is back, and there’s “heck” to pay.
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine!

(Music picks up and CHORUS begins dancing. MARY and SARAH step up to microphone stands.)

WINIFRED
Hello, friends! My name’s Winifred—what’s yours?
I put a spell on you, and now you’re gone!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Gone, gone, gone! So long!

WINIFRED
My whammy fell on you, and it was strong.

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
So strong, so strong, so strong!

WINIFRED
Your wretched little lives have all been cursed.
‘Cause of all the witches working, I’m the worst!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Oooh, woo!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
She ain’t lyin’!

WINIFRED
If you don’t believe, you better get superstitious
Ask my sisters—

MARY AND SARAH
Ooh, she’s vicious!

WINIFRED
Photo op!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you—
A wicked spell!
I put a spell on you—
Time to bewitch them!

MARY
Gonna party all night.

SARAH
It’s the witching hour!

SISTERS AND CHORUS
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
In comma coriyama
In comma coriyama
Hey, hey, high, high

WINIFRED
We shall dance!

(Dance break, including solos from all the VILLAINS.)

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re gone!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Gone, gone, gone! So long!

WINIFRED
My whammy fell on you, and it was strong.

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
So strong, so strong, so strong!

WINIFRED
Your wretched little lives have all been cursed.
‘Cause of all the witches working, I’m the worst!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Oooh, woo!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you—
A wicked spell!
I put a spell on you—

SISTERS AND CHORUS
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
In comma coriyama
In comma coriyama
Hey, hey, high, high,
Say bye-bye!
Bye-bye!

(Song ends. Applause.)

WINIFRED
Now wasn’t that fun? Now go, all of you, and run amok!

SARAH
Amok! Amok amok amok amok—

WINIFRED
(Addresses VILLAINS as they start to exit.) Thank you, frightful friends! Hades, Queen, Cruella, etc. Boogie Man. Dr. Facilier, it’s been a pleasure. (VILLAINS finish exiting.) Sisters, we shall fly.

MARY
We didn’t bring our brooms…

WINIFRED
Then we shall walk!

SISTERS
Bye-bye, bye-bye!

(Music ends. Applause. SISTERS exit.)

THACKERY BINKS (VOICEOVER)
Now go forth, and party until the witching hour returns. Fare thee well, friends. Happy All Hallows’ Eve!

(Show ends.)

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