Mickey’s Royal Friendship Faire (Magic Kingdom)

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Music begins with fanfare.)

ANNOUNCER
Lord and ladies, princes and princesses — come one, come all to the Royal Friendship Faire!

(MICKEY, MINNIE, DONALD, DAISY, and GOOFY begin to enter, along with ENSEMBLE.)

MICKEY
Hi, everybody!

MINNIE
This is gonna be so much fun!

DAISY
You’re here!

DONALD
Oh boy! Oh boy!

GOOFY
What a great day!

ENSEMBLE
On this day…

MICKEY
We’re celebrating!

ENSEMBLE
On this day…

MINNIE
With all our friends.

ENSEMBLE
We will weave every thread,
In a tapestry of tales for me and you.

On this day…
(On this day.)

GOOFY
It’s a party!

ENSEMBLE
This very day…

DAISY
So much fun!

DONALD
Yeah!

ENSEMBLE
There are dreams in your head.
(This very day.)
But today’s the day those dreams are coming true!

ALL
We are links in a chain made of silver and gold.

We are part of a pattern about to unfold.
We are heroes of stories, as yet to be told.
We come together on this day!

Come one, come all, come everyone!
Just come on out and play!
Come one, come all, and join the fun.
Come join the special celebration!
On this day…

We are links in a chain made of silver and gold.
We are part of a pattern about to unfold.
We are heroes of stories, as yet to be told.
We come together on this day!

Come one, come all,
On this day!

(Applause.)

MICKEY
Looks like everybody’s ready.

MINNIE
Oh Mickey, I just love the Friendship Faire — a day of fun and music and celebrating!

MICKEY
That’s right! We traveled far and wide, inviting new friends to today’s festival.

DAISY
It was a long journey!

GOOFY
We crossed rivers!

DONALD
And braved forests…

MICKEY
To bring all sorts of friends together in celebration of what makes this kingdom really unique.

MICKEY, MINNIE, GOOFY, DONALD, AND DAISY
All of us!

MINNIE
Come on, everyone! It’s time to officially kick off the Royal Friendship Faire!

DAISY
I can’t wait!

DONALD
Let’s go!

(DONALD, DAISY, and GOOFY exit.)

MINNIE
Today is going to be such a wonderful, wonderful day!

(Trumpet solo sounds from offstage playing “When We’re Human.”)

MICKEY
Oh boy! I hear our first guest coming now!

GOOFY
(Offstage.) Come on everybody!

(Upstage doors open to reveal GOOFY leading TIANA, NAVEEN, LOUIS, and a New Orleans ENSEMBLE. Music transitions to “Down in New Orleans.”)

MINNIE
Oh my goodness!

TIANA, NAVEEN, AND ENSEMBLE
In the southland, there’s a city,
Way down on the river.
Where the women are very pretty,
And all the men deliver.

They got music, it’s always playin’.
Start in the day time, go all through the night.
When you hear that music playin’,
Hear what I’m sayin’, makes you feel alright!

GOOFY
Allow me to introduce my new pals from The Land of the Bewitching Bayou: Louis, Prince Naveen, and Princess Tiana.

MICKEY
It’s great to meet ya!

MINNIE
Oh, “The Land of the Bewitching Bayou!” What’s that like?

TIANA
It’s a land of dreams, good cooking —

NAVEEN
And jazz!

LOUIS
I just love playing jazz with the big boys!

GOOFY
Sounds like a swingin’ good time to me!

NAVEEN
Hit it, Louis!

(LOUIS begins another trumpet solo to the tune of “When We’re Human.”)

TIANA
(Scats.)

(TAP DANCER begins dance solo while LOUIS plays. At the end of it, ENSEMBLE cheers for both of them.)

TIANA
(To GOOFY) Now, why are you standin’ way over there? Come and join the jubilee!

GOOFY
Garwsh! Well, I ain’t got much to add to the party. I’m not good at tap dancing or playing the ukulele.

TIANA
But everyone’s got something to add. A party’s like a big pot of gumbo — it takes all the different flavors coming together to make it good.

GOOFY
Really?

NAVEEN
She’s right, my tall friend. You’ve got to let loose and cut a rug!

GOOFY
Garwsh!

LOUIS
You never know what you can do ‘til you try!

TIANA
You know what Mama Odie would say if she were here? “You gotta dig a little deeper to find out who you are.”

(Music shifts to “Dig a Little Deeper.”)

TIANA
Don’t matter what you look like.

ENSEMBLE
Oh no!

TIANA
Don’t matter what you wear.

ENSEMBLE
Don’t matter!

TIANA
How many rings you got on your finger?
We don’t care!

ENSEMBLE
No, we don’t care!

NAVEEN
Don’t matter where you come from.

ENSEMBLE
No-wee!

NAVEEN
Don’t even matter who you are!

ENSEMBLE
Don’t matter!
A big, a small, a short, a tall…

NAVEEN
We got em’ all in here!

ENSEMBLE
We got ’em all in here!

TIANA
And they all knew what they wanted —
What they wanted us to do.
I told ’em what they needed…

TIANA, NAVEEN, AND ENSEMBLE
Just like we’ll be telling you!

You gotta dig a little deeper.
Find out who you are.
You gotta dig a little deeper.
It’s really not that far!

When you found out who you are,
(Ooh…)
You find out what you need.
Blue skies and sun shine,
Guaranteed!

TIANA
My friend, it’s time to take your place in the sun!

(GOOFY takes a tambourine and does a dance solo.)

LOUIS
Let’s take it on home!

ALL
You gotta dig a little deeper.
Ya don’t have far to go.
You gotta dig a little deeper.
Just remember that I told you so!

You’ll be surprised with what you find…

TIANA
Maybe love!

LOUIS
Or friends!

ALL
Or piece of mind.
Dig a little deeper and you’ll know!

Just dig down deep inside yourself,
And when you do,
Your dreams can come true!

Dreams come true!

TIANA
Your dreams come true!

ENSEMBLE
Dreams come true!

TIANA
Ohhh!

ENSEMBLE
Dreams come true!

ALL
Your dreams come true!

(Applause.)

TIANA
Why, that was just the bee’s knees!

LOUIS
You were really swingin’!

GOOFY
Garwsh! There’s more where that came from! Come on, everybody!

(GOOFY exits, leading TIANA, NAVEEN, and ENSEMBLE off.)

MICKEY
Hot dog! They sure are a fun group!

MINNIE
Like Tiana said, they’re “the bee’s knees!”

MICKEY
(Laughs.) Aw… Say, who do you think Donald and Daisy brought?

MINNIE
Oh, I bet they’re just delightful!

(DONALD enters, leading the RUFFIANS from The Snuggly Duckling.)

DONALS
Attention everybody! Allow me to introduce my distinguished guests from The Land of the Enchanted Woodlands.

MINNIE
Distinguished guests?

MICKEY
From The Land of the Enchanted Woodlands?

DONALD
(To RUFFIANS.) Hey fellas, these are my friends!

MINNIE
It’s a pleasure to meet you gentlemen.

HOOK HAND
Hiya, toots.

VLADIMIR
The pleasure is all mine.

MINNIE
How nice.

TOR
Out of my way! My turn!

(RUFFIANS argue loudly over one another.)

DONALD
Would you stop that?!

HOOK HAND
Watch it buddy! We do what we want, when we want.

VLADIMIR
Just like at the Snuggly Duckling.

DONALD
Who you calling a snuggly duckling? (Jumps on two of the RUFFIANS’ feet, causing a hoopla.)

VLADIMIR
Ow! My foot!

(Balletic battle ensues, in which DONALD is repeatedly manhandled by the RUFFIANS.)

DONALD
Watch it! Hey! Hey! Let me go!

MINNIE
Donald!

(MICKEY gets hold of one of DONALD’s arms, while the RUFFIANS grab the other. A tug of war begins.)

DONALD
Hey!

MICKEY
Minnie, hold on!

MINNIE
(Grabbing MICKEY’s arm to lend support.) Let go of him!

DONALD
My feathers!

(Tug of war continues downstage. Upstage, DAISY enters with RAPUNZEL and FLYNN RIDER.)

DAISY
What is happening?!

TOR
We got you now!

RAPUNZEL
Oh no! Flynn!

FLYNN
I told ya — you can’t take them anywhere.

DAISY
Donald! (She whistles loudly, stopping the tug of war.)

DONALD
Daisy…?

(Underscore music begins: “When Will My Life Begin?”)

DAISY
Donald Duck, what have you done? After we met Rapunzel and Flynn, we agreed to invite them. Not these ruffians!

VLADIMIR
“Ruffians?!”

DAISY
One minute we were together, and the next I turned around and you were gone. What happened?

DONALS
Gee, Daisy… I’m sorry.

DAISY
You ruined everything!

RAPUNZEL
I know these boys. They seem a bit rough around the edges, but they’re not so bad.

FLYNN
Blondie’s right. They grow on you after a while… Kinda like a fungus.

RAPUNZEL
They all have dreams! Just like you and me.

DAISY
They do?

RAPUNZEL
Oh yes, they do!

(Music transitions to “I’ve Got a Dream.”)

FLYNN
He’s malicious, mean, and scary,
His sneer could curdle dairy,
And violence-wise, his hands are not the cleanest.

RAPUNZEL
But despite his evil look,
And his temper, and his hook,
He’s always yearned to be a concert pianist!

HOOK HAND
Can’tcha see me on the stage, performin’ Mozart?
Tickling the ivories ’til they gleam?
Yep, I’d rather be called deadly
For my killer show-tune medley.

(Plays air piano.) Thank you!

‘Cause way down deep inside,
I’ve got a dream!

RAPUNZEL AND RUFFIANS
He’s got a dream!
He’s got a dream!

HOOK HAND
See, I ain’t as cruel and vicious as I seem!
Though I do like breaking femurs,
You can count me with the dreamers.
Like everybody else,
I’ve got a dream!

RAPUNZEL
Tor would like to quit and be a florist!

(TOR pulls a bouquet of flowers from behind his back.)

FLYNN
Gunther does interior design.
Ulf is into mime.

RAPUNZEL
Attila’s cupcakes are sublime!

RAPUNZEL AND FLYNN
Bruiser knits.
Killer sews,
Fang does little puppet shows.

HOOK HAND
And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns!

(VLADIMIR pulls out two ceramic unicorns.)

ALL
Ooh!

HOOK HAND
(To DONALD.) What’s your dream, my little snuggly friend?

DONALD
My dream? I’ve always wanted to be one of the fellas! (Mimes boxing.)

VLADIMIR
What about you?

DAISY
I’ve always wanted to try new things and make new friends!

HOOK HAND
Those are beautiful dreams.

DONALD
I’ve got a dream!

DAISY
I’ve got a dream!

ALL
They’ve got a dream!

DONALD AND DAISY
We’ve got a dream!

RAPUNZEL
So our differences aren’t really that extreme.

ALL
We’re one big team!

RUFFIANS
Call us brutal, sick, sadistic,

VLADIMIR
And grotesquely optimistic.

ALL
‘Cause way down deep inside,
We’ve got a dream!

HOOK HAND
I’ve got a dream!

BRUISER
I’ve got a dream!

TOR
I’ve got a dream!

GUNTHER
I’ve got a dream!

VLADIMIR
I’ve got a dream!

DONALD AND DAISY
We’ve got a dream!

ALL
Yes, way down deep inside,
I’ve got a dream!
Yeah!

(Applause. Playout begins.)

DAISY
You’re right! They’re not as bad as they seem.

DONALD
So, did I do a good job?

DAISY
You did a very good job!

HOOK HAND
Way to go buddy!

TOR
Now you’re one of the fellas!

DONALD
Hooray!

VLADIMIR
Come on!

(DONALD, DAISY, RAPUNZEL, FLYNN, and RUFFIANS exit upstage.)

ALL
(On button.) Yeah!

MINNIE
What a nice group of ruffians!

MICKEY
And what a great bunch of dreams!

MINNIE
Oh, goodness! Mickey, we better get ready. We don’t want to be late for the celebration.

MICKEY
Oh, uh, hang on a minute, Minnie. I’ve got a special surprise for ya.

MINNIE
You do? (Laughs.)

MICKEY
You see… uh, I know there’s someone you’ve always wanted to meet from The Land of the Mystic Mountains.

MINNIE
Oh, Mickey! Could it be?!

(Music begins: “For the First Time in Forever.” Gates open to reveal OLAF. Music changes to “In Summer.”)

OLAF
Duh dah, dah doo,
Uh buh buh buh buh buh boo.
Wow. They’re not gonna believe this back home.

MICKEY
But, I —

OLAF
(Scats.)
Ooh, look at all the people! Hello, people!
And I can’t wait to see
What my buddies all think of me.
(To MINNIE and MICKEY.) Hello!
In summer!
I’m Olaf, and I like warm hugs.

MICKEY AND MINNIE
Hi Olaf!

(ANNA and ELSA enter upstage. Music begins again: “For the First Time in Forever.”)

ANNA
Olaf? Olaf, there you are! We were worried.

OLAF
Why? Were you lost?

ELSA
No, Olaf. You were.

OLAF
But I’m right here with my new friends! (Indicates MICKEY.) This is — (Aside.) and you are…?

MICKEY
Why, I’m Mickey Mouse!

OLAF
(Indicates MINNIE.) 
And this is — (Aside.) and you are…?

MINNIE
I’m Minnie.

OLAF
Good! This is Anna and Elsa. (Aside.) They’re sisters.

MINNIE
Oh my! It’s an honor to meet you.

ELSA
Please — the honor is all ours.

ANNA
We’re so excited to be here!

MINNIE
From the moment I heard your story, I admired you both so much. Oh, I wish I could be more like you.

ANNA
But being just who you are is perfect!

ELSA
Everyone has their own unique talents that make them special. You just have to believe that you do!

MINNIE
That’s true!

ELSA
Anything is possible when you have someone you love by your side.

ANNA
That’s me!

OLAF
I wanna be there too!

ELSA
I’ve learned that you just have to remember to be true to yourself.

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all!

It’s time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I’m free!

Let it go! Let it go!
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go! Let it go!
You’ll never see me cry!

Here I stand,
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on!

My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around.
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast:
I’m never going back —
The past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go!
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn!
Let it go! Let it go!
That perfect girl is gone!

Here I stand,
In the light of day.
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!

(Applause.)

MINNIE
That was incredible!

ELSA
Thank you, Minnie. I hope none of you ever lose sight of being your own person.

OLAF
Even me?

ANNA
Even you, Olaf!

OLAF
Yay! Let’s go find more fun!

MINNIE
Goodbye!

(ANNA, ELSA, and OLAF exit upstage.)

MICKEY
So, did you like your surprise?

MINNIE
Like it? Oh Mickey, I loved it! I think today might be the best day ever!

MICKEY
Oh! Oh, gosh Minnie… Every day with you is the best day ever.

MINNIE
Oh Mickey! (Kisses him on the cheek.)

MICKEY
Aww… (Trumpet fanfare sounds.) Oh! Oh, we better hurry! Come on! (They exit.)

(Music begins. Upstage gates open and ENSEMBLE enters, leading GOOFY, DONALD, and DAISY — now in seasonal attire.) 

ANNOUNCER
Lords and ladies, princes and princesses — it is time for the Royal Friendship Faire grand dance!

ENSEMBLE
Ah, ah, ah, etc.

ANNOUNCER
Now join us in welcoming back our new friends. From The Land of the Bewitching Bayous: Princess Tiana, Prince Naveen, and Sir Louis.

(TIANA, NAVEEN, and LOUIS enter. LOUIS plays a trumpet solo to “Ma Belle Evangeline.” TIANA and NAVEEN dance.)

ANNOUNCER
From The Land of the Enchanted Woodlands: Princess Rapunzel, Flynn Rider and Sirs Vladimir and Hook Hand.

(Music transitions to “I See the Light.” RAPUNZEL and FLYNN enter and dance together, as do VLADIMIR and HOOK HAND.)

From The Land of the Mystic Mountains: Queen Elsa, Princess Anna, and Sir Olaf.

(Music transitions to “For the First Time in Forever. ANNA, ELSA, and OLAF enter and dance. Fanfare.)

Lords and ladies, princes and princesses — please welcome Sir Mickey and Lady Minnie!

(MICKEY and MINNIE enter.)

MINNIE
Come on everyone! Let’s all dance together!

(Music transitions to “With a Smile and a Song.” ALL dance.)

ALL
When you smile and you sing,
Everything is in tune, and it’s spring,
And love flows along,
With a smile and a song.

We, old friends and new,
And family too…
Life flows along,
with a smile and a song!

DAISY
That was so much fun.

DONALD
Yeah!

GOOFY
Thank ya for the dance!

MINNIE
Oh Mickey, this really has been the best day ever!

RAPUNZEL
Discovering new dreams…

FLYNN
That’s an adventure for sure!

DONALD AND DAISY
Uh-huh!

TIANA
Trying something new…

NAVEEN
And having a swinging good time!

GOOFY
You bet!

ELSA
Finding the confidence…

ANNA
To be true to yourself.

MINNIE
That’s right!

MICKEY
Here’s to all of us — old friends and new!

OLAF
Warm hugs for everyone!

(ALL laugh.)

MICKEY
Aw!

MINNIE
Oh, this is what I love about the Friendship Faire!

(Music transitions to “On This Day.”)

ALL
On this day, it’s this day,
Come from near or from far!
All these separate parts together make us whole!

On this day,
(On this day)
This very day,

Doesn’t matter who you are!
(This very day)
There is room enough for ev’ry heart and soul!

We are links in a chain made of silver and gold.
We are part of a pattern about to unfold.
We are heroes of stories, as yet to be told.
We come together on this day!

We are links in a chain made of silver and gold.
We are part of a pattern about to unfold.
We are heroes of stories, as yet to be told.
We come together on this day!
We come together on this day!

(Castle fireworks. Applause. Characters bow and exit in groups, leaving MICKEY and MINNIE.)

MICKEY
Thanks to all of you — old friends and new — for celebrating with us today! See ya real soon!

(MICKEY and MINNIE exit.)

ANNOUNCER
We invite you to enjoy the rest of your Royal Friendship Faire day, here at the Magic Kingdom!

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Liberty Square Riverboat (Magic Kingdom)

(Guests board riverboat in Liberty Square.)

SAM CLEMENS
Last call! Secure all cargo! All passengers aboard!

BOWMAN
Cargo secure. All passengers boarded, sir!

SAM CLEMENS
All hands, stand by. Engine Room: reverse one quarter. Bowman: cast off bow line.

BOWMAN
Aye-aye, sir! Bow line away!

SAM CLEMENS
Engine Room: ahead one quarter. Sound last bell. Leadsman, sound off. Give me a depth reading, by the mark.

LEADSMAN
By the mark: Half twain. Mark one. Mark twain. Mark three. Mark four. Deep four. Ocean deep.

(Riverboat begins moving.)

SAM CLEMENS
Mark four. Engine Room: ahead three quarters. Stand by. Steady as she goes. Captain.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Welcome aboard the Liberty Belle! I’m your captain, Horace Bixby, and my pilot with me here on the Texas Deck, is a young cub that goes by the name of Sam Clemens. Hey, he’s marking his 100th voyage down the river today, with nary a calamity on his watch… uh, so far. Sam knows this river like his own backyard. Sam, tell our guests everything you know about this river.

SAM CLEMENS
Well, now… I always figure it is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. But I will tell you this: I love this river more than anything else. I’ve loved this river, even from the time I was a toddler back in Missouri.

Before we get too much further out of port, I think I should mention that you best not be sittin’ on those handrails. They’re the only thing between you and the river, and the river don’t always take kindly to uninvited guests. We’ve also had reports of river pirates operating in the vicinity — so I wouldn’t lean out beyond those rails for that reason, either.

Now, for those of you on the port side, that river town we’re passin’ is Frontierland. A few years back, it was no more than a boomtown, carved out of the wilderness by a handful of settlers lookin’ to start a new life. Today, gentility and decorum are runnin’ rampant. Oh, it still has its share of footloose trappers, keelboaters, prospectors, and an Indian or two — but mostly it’s flush times and well on its way to becomin’ a fine big city.

Frontierland reminds me some of my own hometown, Hannibal. It takes me back to when I was a barefoot boy, growin’ up alongside the riverbanks. Ya know, it seems to me that when I was younger, I could remember everything — whether it happened or not! But, as I grow older, I — I seem to remember only the things that never happened at all.

(Riverboat moves past Splash Mountain.)

See that peak just beyond the outskirts of Frontierland? That’s Chickapin Hill — or at least it used to be. Dam burst a few years back, and folks been callin’ it “Splash Mountain” ever since. Some have even taken to ridin’ hollowed-out logs over the big falls. Seems farfetched, I know, but it’s the truth!

All my life, it seems I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe — but believe me when I tell ya, truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I make sure I only use it with economy.

(Riverboat moves past Tom Sawyer Island rafts.)

That island over across the way, on the starboard side, was my stompin’ grounds when I was young. Exceedingly young. Marvelously young — young by hundreds of years! Younger than I will ever be again. It’s called Tom Sawyer’s Island and is named for a friend from my boyhood. Even today, the only way you can get there is by raft. Ol’ man Harper’s grain mill is there — back in the woods just off Tom’s Landing. And that’s Muff Potter’s pond and his windmill. We almost hanged Muff once… And there’s Huck’s Landing! I always did like Huck. He could swear just wonderfully! He and Tom and I spent most of our wild and reckless youth exploring that island. Lots of caves. Lots of adventure, if you know where to look. And we all knew where to look. That’s Superstition Bridge — it connects the big island to the little one. And if you follow the wilderness trail there, it’ll lead you right up to the gates of Fort Langhorn. It’s the last tradin’ outpost before we head into Indian country.

(Riverboat passes Big Thunder Mountain.)

Look off to the port side, there. Every now and then, the water under that crest of rock comes to a natural boil and spurts out all over the place like a teakettle left on the fire too long. Indians ’round here used to tell me these geysers were actually unfriendly spirits, upset by uninvited trespassers traipsin’ all over their sacred huntin’ grounds. Be that as it may, that’s Big Thunder Mountain pokin’ up in the sky over there. The Indians named it that because of the sound the falls used to make when the big rains came. Then the miners and prospectors and get-rich-quick speculators showed up — and the name stuck because of the sound of blastin’ powder goin’ off every few minutes. There’s not so much blastin’ these days — just ghost stories about a runaway mine train loaded down with simple-hearted, terror-filled folks like you.

(Riverboat passes Beacon Joe’s hut.)

Well, I’ll be! Look who’s drifted out of the bayou. Off to port, Captain — it’s Beacon Joe.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Old Beacon’s been marking this river for longer than I can remember. Every time the river cuts a new channel, old Beacon puts out a marker to let us know whether it’s safe to travel or not. However, Sam here’s been braggin’ that if push came to shove, he could navigate the Liberty Belle on a heavy dew. (Chuckle.) Isn’t that so, Sam?

SAM CLEMENS
Well, I was born humble, Captain… but mostly, it’s worn off.

(Riverboat approaches Indian village.)

SAM CLEMENS
Captain, Indian village to port.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Now that’s something you don’t see much out this way: that’s an Algonquin Indian village — um, looks to be from the Powhatan tribe. Usually they stay further east. I’ve seen Seminole and Miami this far west, and of course Shoshone, Blackfeet, and Crow — but I’ve never seen Algonquins out here.

SAM CLEMENS
Lots of game out this way. I’ve seen moose and deer and plenty of other critters along the shoreline.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
That could be why the Powhatans are out this far. Y’know, just following the food trail.

(Riverboat approaches second Indian village.)

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Now that other village off to port has been there a while. Most of the Indians along the river don’t quite know what to make of our steamboat. They call it “penalore,” which means “fire canoe” — uh, ’cause of the smoke and sparks pouring out of our top stack. The first time we passed this way, they thought it was the return of one of their heavenly messengers. They said our riverboat was a “comet of the sun.”

Just beyond the village, up that hill, is their sacred burial ground. Now, those who fall in battle are placed atop the traditional bed of death. After nightfall, they’ll return to mourn the great warriors who brought honor to the tribe.

SAM CLEMENS
Attention, Deck Watch: shoals to port and starboard. Engine Room: steady on.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
We’re entering shallow water, but, uh, there’s no cause for worry. Sam knows every shoal and shallow, every snag and sandbar in this part of the river — and he’ll navigate us through to safe water. You wouldn’t steer us wrong, would you Sam?

SAM CLEMENS
I believe we ought never to do wrong, Captain — especially when others are looking. Leadsman, sing out!

LEADSMAN
By the mark: mark one, quarter-less three, half twain, half twain, half mark twain, quarter-less, red flag, red flag touchin’!

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Those of you that have been this way before know that the water can get fairly shallow along this stretch of the river. The leadsmen call out the depth. Each mark is a fathom (or six feet). “Mark twain” is two fathoms. And for us, that means safe water.

(Riverboat passes Wilson’s Cave Inn. Sounds of cavorting echo from inside the cave.)

SAM CLEMENS
Captain, we’re passing Cutthroat Corner. Attention, deck crew: stay alert! If there’s river pirates out there, this is where they’ll most likely be. Yep, I can hear them from here. But from all the commotion, it sounds like their interests lie elsewhere.

(Riverboat passes Fort Langhorn. A bugle fanfare sounds from the shore.)

SAM CLEMENS
If you folks on deck look past the trees on the island, that’s Fort Langhorn. Most of these old forts started out as tradin’ posts. Then, as settlers started headin’ west, the army came in and took ’em over. My feelin’ is, these days, there’s a lot less frontier and a lot more civilization than is truly necessary.

Leadsman, give me a depth reading. Sing out!

LEADSMAN
By the mark: half twain, mark one, mark twain, no bottom, safe water. Mark twain, safe passage.

(Riverboat passes Haunted Mansion.)

SAM CLEMENS
You see that brick mansion back over yonder there in the woods? I’ve heard folks hereabouts say it was haunted. They say it was built on sacred Indian burial grounds, so now it’s filled with spirits. If you ask me, I’d say the ones tellin’ those tales are the ones filled with spirits. If you want proof, just ask ’em — they got it. About a hundred proof, I reckon. And whatever you do, don’t strike any matches if they aim to breathe in your direction — or you won’t just be seein’ ghosts; you’ll be joinin’ ’em.

(Riverboat approaches Liberty Square dock.)

We’re approaching Liberty Square, which is home port for us. We’ll be puttin’ into dock shortly, so those of you on the upper two decks might be of a mind to collect all your parcels and head to the lower deck. If you got youngins you’ll wanna take them in hand before they get out of hand. On behalf of the captain, myself, and the crew, thanks for plyin’ the waterways with us, and I hope I see you next time round the riverbend.

CAPTAIN HORACE BIXBY
Thanks, Sam, and, uh, thank you, everyone for traveling the Rivers of America with us today.

SAM CLEMENS
Engine Room: approach levy at one-quarter steam. Man the bowline. Purser: check freight and cargo. All hands, prepare to dock. All passengers, stand by to go ashore.

(Riverboat docks. Passengers disembark.)

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Dumbo the Flying Elephant (Magic Kingdom)

Entrance spiel Version 1:

TIMOTHY MOUSE
Hi there — it’s your friend, Timothy Mouse! As you know, Dumbo is a real high-flyer, so’s to make your flight a safe one, be sure to stay seated with your seatbelt fastened, keeping your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And for all you’s grownup types, be sure to watch your kids!

(Spanish safety spiel.)

To make your pachyderm fly higher, just raise the magic lever right in front of you. Okay, Dumbo — let’s get this show on the road!

Entrance spiel Version 2:

TIMOTHY MOUSE
This is your ringmaster, Timothy Mouse! To make sure your flight’s a safe one, be sure to stay seated with your seatbelt fastened, keeping your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And be sure to watch your kids!

(Spanish safety spiel.)

To make Dumbo fly higher, just raise the magic lever right in front of you. Everybody ready? Then get ready to take off with the world’s only flying elephant — Dumbo!

(Ride begins.)

Exit spiel Version 1:

TIMOTHY MOUSE
What a great flight! Okay, everybody, now just hold your horses — I mean, elephants (chuckle) — until Dumbo comes to a stop. Then you’s can walk to the nearest exit. See ya soon!

Exit spiel Version 2:

 

TIMOTHY MOUSE
What a great flight! Okay, everybody — now just say seated until Dumbo comes to a stop. Then you’s can walk to the nearest exit. See ya soon!

Exit spiel Version 3:

TIMOTHY MOUSE
Looks like we’re comin’ in for a landing, gang — so please stay seated until Dumbo comes to a stop. Then you’s can walk to the nearest exit. Thanks for flying with the eighth wonder of the world — Dumbo!

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Mad Tea Party (Magic Kingdom)

ALICE
Welcome to the Mad Tea Party, where everything is quite — uh, mad! To ensure your safety, please remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside while your teacup is spinning. And please do watch your children. To spin your teacup, just turn the silver wheel to the right or to the left — whichever you like. The faster you turn it, the faster you’ll go! Then it’s off to the the tea party! Please say hello to the Mad Hatter!

(Spanish safety spiel.)

(Ride begins.)

ALICE
Oh, there you are! Please remain seated until your teacup comes to a stop, then walk to the nearest exit. Bye-bye!

(Guests unload. Guests load.)

ALICE
Well, hello there — welcome to our un-birthday party! For your safety, please be sure to stay seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside your teacup. And do watch your children. To spin your teacup, just keep turning the silver wheel to the right or to the left. The faster you turn it, the faster it spins! Well, it seems our party is about to begin. Have a most wonderful time! Ta-ta!

(Spanish safety spiel.)

(Ride begins.)

ALICE
It looks like your tea party is coming to an end. Please remain seated until your teacup stops, and then follow signs to the nearest exit. Ta-ta — please visit us again!

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Happily Ever After (Magic Kingdom)

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Pre-show announcement.)

ANNOUNCER
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dreamers of all ages! In just 10 minutes, the Magic Kingdom invites you to enjoy our nighttime spectacular, Happily Ever After — presented by Pandora Jewelry. Our journey will begin in just 10 minutes.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

ANNOUNCER
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dreamers of all ages! In just a few minutes, the Magic Kingdom invites you to enjoy our nighttime spectacular, Happily Ever After — presented by Pandora Jewelry. In order for you to fully experience tonight’s performance, the lighting around the Magic Kingdom will be reduced. For your own safety, and for that of others, we ask that you remain in the same location location until the lighting returns to normal. Our journey begins in just a few minutes.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

(Music begins with fanfare.)

NARRATOR
And they all lived happily ever after. Each of us has a dream, a heart’s desire. It calls to us. And when we’re brave enough to listen, and bold enough to pursue, that dream will lead us on a journey to discover who we’re meant to be. All we have to do is look inside our hearts and unlock the magic within.

MALE VOCALIST (JORDAN FISHER)
Ready to begin?
Let the wonder take hold.

FEMALE VOCALIST (ANGIE KEILHAU)
Feel it draw you in.
Watch the moment unfold.

BOTH
Spark a dream that we’re meant to follow,
Setting out for a new tomorrow.

MALE VOCALIST
Every step we take
Brings a new hope, a new day.

FEMALE VOCALIST
Every choice we make
Helps us find our own way.

BOTH
Every wish finally put into motion,
Diving in with our hearts wide open.

FEMALE VOCALIST
The story comes alive,

MALE VOCALIST
(When we look inside.)

FEMALE VOCALIST
A new adventure there in your eyes.

MALE VOCALIST
(There in your eyes.)

BOTH
It’s just beginning.
Feel your heart beat faster.
Reach out and find your
Happily ever after!

FEMALE VOCALIST
Find your happily ever after.

(Music shifts to “Down in New Orleans [Prologue]” and a shooting star flies past the castle.)

TIANA
The evening star is shining bright,
So make a wish and hold on tight.
There’s magic in the air tonight,
And anything can happen.

(Music shifts to “When You Wish Upon a Star” fanfare. Music shifts to “Part of Your World.” Music shifts to “Out There.”)

QUASIMODO
Out there, strolling by the Seine.
Taste a morning out there, like ordinary men
Who freely walk about there,
Just one day, and then I swear
I’ll be content with my share.

Won’t resent, won’t despair.
Old and bent, I won’t care.
I’ll have spent one day out there!

(Music shifts to “Touch the Sky.”)

MERIDA
Your destiny lies within you. You just have to be brave enough to see it. And then your journey begins!

I will read every story,
Take hold of my own dream.
Be as strong as the seas are stormy,
And proud as an eagle’s scream.

I will ride, I will fly, 
Chase the wind and touch the sky!
I will fly.
Chase the wind and touch the sky.

CHORUS
(Na na na na,
Na na na na,
La na na na,
Na na na)

MERIDA
Chase the wind and touch the sky!

(Music shifts to “How Far I’ll Go.”)

MOANA
Every turn I take, every trail I track,
Every path I make, every road leads back
To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be.

See the light as it shines on the sea? It’s blinding.
But no one knows how deep it goes.
And it seems like it’s calling out to me, so come find me!
And let me know, what’s beyond that line, will I cross that line?

The line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me.
And no one knows, how far it goes.
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me,
One day I’ll know, how far I’ll go!

(Music shifts to Aladdin underscore.)

ALADDIN
Trust me, having a best friend by your side opens up a whole new world of possibilities!

(Music shifts to “Friend Like Me.”)

CHORUS
Oh, whoa…
Oh, my…
Oh, yeah…

(Music shifts to “Trashing the Camp”)

CHORUS
Zabwe dap, zooboo doop, zabwe dap, zooboo doo dap ‘n dee yap.
Zabwe dap, zooboo doop, zabwe dap, zooboo doo ‘n dee dee yoop.
Zabwe dap, zooboo doop, zabwe dap, buh kah, buh kah, buh kah, buh kah!
Dwee yap, dwee yoo.

(Music shifts to “Hakuna Matata.” Music shifts to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Music shifts to “The Bare Necessities.” Music shifts back to “Hakuna Matata.” Music shifts back to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Music shifts to “That’s What Friends Are For.”)

FEMALE CHORUS
And when you’re outside, looking in,
Who’s there to open the door?

BASS SOLOIST
That’s what friends are for!

(Music shifts back to “Friend Like Me.”)

CHORUS
Mister Aladdin, sir,
Have a wish or two or three.
I’m on the job, you big nabob,

GENIE
You ain’t never had a friend,
Never had a friend.
You ain’t never had a friend,
Never had a friend.

GENIE AND CHORUS
You ain’t never had a
Friend like me!

GENIE
Ya ha ha, ha ha ha,
You ain’t never had a friend like me!

(Music shifts to “Love Is an Open Door”)

OLAF
Some people are worth melting for. (Sigh.)

FEMALE SOLOIST 1
Say goodbye

FEMALE SOLOIST 2
Say goodbye

BOTH
To the pain of the past.
We don’t have to feel it anymore.

FEMALE SOLOIST 1
Love is an open door,
Love is an open door.

FEMALE SOLOIST 2
Love is an open door.

(Music shifts to “You’ll Be in My Heart.”)

MALE SOLOIST
You’ll be in my heart,
No matter what they say.
You’ll be here in my heart,
Always.

(Music fanfare. Music shifts to “I See the Light.”)

RAPUNZEL AND FLYNN RIDER
And at last I see the light,

FLYNN RIDER
And it’s like the fog has lifted.

RAPUNZEL AND FLYNN RIDER
And at last I see the light,

RAPUNZEL
And it’s like the sky is new.

RAPUNZEL AND FLYNN RIDER
And it’s warm and real and bright,
And the world has somehow shifted.
All at once, everything is different,
Now that I see you.

(Music shifts to Mulan theme.)

FA ZHOU
The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

(Music shifts to action theme.)

URSULA
(Evil laugh.)

(Music shifts to “The Stampede.”)

SCAR
(Roar.)

(Music shifts to “He’s a Pirate.” Music shifts to “Go the Distance.”)

MUFASA
Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become. Remember who you are. Remember. Remember.

FEMALE SOLOIST
I have often dreamed of a far off place,
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me.

MALE SOLOIST
Where the crowds would cheer
When they see my face.

BOTH
And a voice keeps saying,
“This is where I’m meant to be.”

CHORUS
I will beat the odds,
I can go the distance!
I will face the world,
Fearless, proud, and strong.

I will please the gods,
I can go the distance!
‘Til I find my hero’s welcome,
Right where I belong.

(Music shifts back to “Happily Ever After” theme.)

NARRATOR
And so, our journey comes to an end. But yours continues on. Grab ahold of your dreams and make them come true. For you are the key to unlocking your own magic. Now go. Let your dreams guide you. Reach out and find your Happily Ever After.

FEMALE SOLOIST (ANGIE KEILHAU)
The battles, the stories,
The losses and all the glories.

MALE SOLOIST (JORDAN FISHER)
We’re changed by the way
We live every day.
Just look up and reach to the sky.

BOTH
We all have the courage to fly!

CHORUS
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly!

(TINKER BELL flies overhead.)

CHORUS
The story comes alive!

MALE SOLOIST
(When we look inside)

CHORUS
A new adventure, there in your eyes.

BOTH SOLOISTS
(There in your eyes!)

CHORUS
It’s just beginning,
Feel your heart beat faster.
Reach out and find your…
Reach out and find your…
Reach out and find your
Happily ever after!

(Fireworks finale.)

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Festival of Fantasy Parade (Magic Kingdom)

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Music begins with brass fanfare.)

ANNOUNCER
Hear ye! Hear ye! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Magic Kingdom. You are warmly invited to join Mickey Mouse and his Fantasyland friends for a magical celebration in the streets! Dreams will come true, hearts will soar, and you will become a part of the magic. For the time has come to take your places, and prepare to welcome the wondrous and wonderful Disney Festival of Fantasy Parade!

(Parade begins with dancers.)

CHORUS
Away we go (away we go),
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Beauty and majesty,

Shining magically!
Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

La la la, etc.

(Float goes by with BELLE, BEAST, CINDERELLA, PRINCE CHARMING, TIANA, PRINCE NAVEEN, ANNA, and ELSA.)

MALE CHORUS
Tale as old as time,
True as it can be.

CHORUS
Barely even friends,
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly.

MALE CHORUS
Certain as the sun,
Rising in the east.

FEMALE CHORUS
Tale as old as time,

MALE CHORUS
Song as old as rhyme…

CHORUS
Beauty and the Beast!

FEMALE CHORUS
A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When you’re fast asleep.

CHORUS
In dreams, you will lose your heartaches.
Whatever you wish for, you keep.

FEMALE CHORUS
For the first time in forever…

CHORUS
Let it go! Let it go!

FEMALE CHORUS
For the first time in forever,
I won’t be alone!

CHORUS
Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

(Tangled float approaches, carrying RAPUNZEL, FLYNN, and MAXIMUS. THUGS dance in front. Rhythmic bangs and clanks accompany the next sections.)

CHORUS
Away we go,

It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Beauty and majesty,
Shining magically!
Dreams that glow,
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

(TANGLED CHORUS sings to the tune of “I’ve Got a Dream.”)

TANGLED CHORUS
La la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la la!

THUG SOLOIST
I’ve got a dream!

TANGLED CHORUS
He’s got a dream!

THUG SOLOIST
I’ve got a dream!

TANGLED CHORUS
He’s got a dream!

THUG SOLOIST
See, I ain’t as cruel and vicious as I seem!
Though I do like breaking femurs,
You can count me with the dreamers.

TANGLED CHORUS
Like everybody else,
I’ve got a dream!

THUG SOLOIST
Can’t you see me with that special little lady?
Rowing in a rowboat down the stream.
Though I’m one disgusting blighter,
I’m a lover, not a fighter.
‘Cause way down deep inside,
I’ve got a dream!

TANGLED CHORUS
He’s got a dream!

RAPUNZEL
When will my life begin?

TANGLED CHORUS
‘Cause way down deep inside, we’ve got a dream.

RAPUNZEL
I’ve got a dream!

TANGLED CHORUS
She’s got a dream!

RAPUNZEL
I’ve got a dream!

TANGLED CHORUS
She’s got a dream!

RAPUNZEL
I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam.

TANGLED CHORUS
Awww!

RAPUNZEL
And with every passing hour,
I’m so glad I left my tower!

RAPUNZEL AND TANGLED CHORUS
‘Cause way down deep inside,
I’ve got a dream!

CHORUS
Dreams that glow,
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.

TANGLED CHORUS
Here we go!

CHORUS
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

TANGLED CHORUS
La la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la la!

(The Little Mermaid float approaches, carrying ARIEL, SEBASTIAN, and various sea creatures.)

CARIBBEAN CHORUS
Away we go-oh-oh,
It’s a Festival of Fantasy, yeah!
Eh, eh-oh, eh-oh.
Shining magically, yeah!
Dreams that glow-oh-oh,
They wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
Eh-oh-eh
So, away we go-oh-oh.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

SEBASTIAN
Hahaha, dat boy… He ain’t never gonna kiss de girl…

CARIBBEAN CHORUS
Sha-la-la-la,
La la la la la.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh my,
Look like the boy too shy,
Ain’t gonna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain’t that sad?
Ain’t it a shame? Too bad,
You gonna miss the girl.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t be scared.
You got the mood prepared.
Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl).
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t stop now.
Don’t try to hide it, how…

ARIEL
Someday I’ll be
Part of your world!

SEBASTIAN
Under the sea!

CARIBBEAN CHORUS
Under the sea!

SEBASTIAN
Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there!

CARIBBEAN CHORUS
Under the sea,
Under the sea.
When the sardine
Begin the beguine,
It’s music to me!
What do they got?
A lot of sand.
We got a hot crustacean band!
Each little clam here
Know how to jam here,
Under the sea!

SEBASTIAN
You’ve got the rhythm! Come on, do it with us now — celebration! (Laughs.)

CARIBBEAN CHORUS
Dreams that glow-oh-oh,
They wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
Eh-oh-eh
So, away we go-oh-oh.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

(Peter Pan float approaches, carrying PETER PAN, WENDY, CAPTAIN HOOK, and TINKER BELL. LOST BOYS and PIRATES dance in front.)

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Away we go, yo-ho!

Oh, a pirate’s life is a wonderful life,
A-roving over the sea!
Give me a career
As a buccaneer,
It’s the life of a pirate for me!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

Oh, a pirate’s life is a wonderful life,
You find adventure and sport.
But live every minute
For all that is in it —
The life of a pirate is short!
Aha!

FEMALE SOLOIST
Think of a wonderful thought,
Any merry little thought.

FEMALE CHORUS
Think of Christmas, think of snow.
Think of sleigh bells, off we go,
Like reindeer in the sky
(Reindeer in the sky, reindeer in the sky)

CHORUS
You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Following the leader,
The leader, the leader.
We’re following the leader,
Wherever he may go!
(Whistling.)
Just a teedle-ee-dum,
A teedle-ee-do-tee-day

FEMALE CHORUS
When there’s a smile in your heart…

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Following the leader…

FEMALE CHORUS
There’s no better time to start

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Wherever he may go!

FEMALE CHORUS
Think of all the joy you’ll find,
When you leave the world behind…

CHORUS
And bid your cares goodbye (your cares goodbye)!
You can fly!
You can fly!
You can fly!

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Dreams that glow, yo-ho!
Yo-ho!
Away we go,
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

FEMALE CHORUS
You can fly!

CHORUS
You can fly!

LOST BOYS CHORUS
Yo-ho!

(Brave float approaches, carrying MERIDA and her BROTHERS.)

CHORUS
Away we go (away we go),
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Beauty and majesty,

Shining magically!
Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

MERIDA
Chase the wind, and touch the sky!

(Bagpipes and Scottish music.)

MERIDA
I will rise, I will fly!
Chase the wind, and touch the sky!
I will fly!
Chase the wind, and touch the sky!

CHORUS
Dreams that glow,
(Chase the wind)
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
(Chase the wind)
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

MERIDA
Chase the wind, and touch the sky!

(Maleficent DRAGON float approaches. FLORA, FAUNA, and MERRYWEATHER dance out front, while PRINCE PHILLIP is taunted by spooky dancers.)

FEMALE SOLOIST
Away we go!
Away we go!
Shining magically.
Dreams that glow!
Away we go…

FEMALE CHORUS
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

(DRAGON breathes fire and does battle with PRINCE PHILLIP.)

FEMALE SOLOISTS
Dreams that glow!
Away we go!
It’s a Festival of Fantasy.

You’ll love me at once,
The way you did once upon a dream.

(SNOW WHITE, DWARFS, JIMINY CRICKET, ALICE, and MAD HATTER dance by ahead of Monstro, Dumbo, and Fantasia float. PINOCCHIO rides atop the whale.)

CHORUS
Away we go (away we go),
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Beauty and majesty,

Shining magically!
Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

MALE CHORUS
Who’s the leader of the club
That’s made for you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y
M-O-U-S-E!

Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse! (Mickey Mouse!)
Forever let us hold our banner high.

Come along, and sing a song,
And join the jamboree!
M-I-C-K-E-Y
M-O-U-S-E!

FEMALE CHORUS
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay.
My, oh my, what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

When you wish upon a star!

(FEMALE CHORUS sings to the tune of “I’ve Got No Strings.”)

FEMALE CHORUS
La la la la la la la

MALE CHORUS
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah…

FEMALE CHORUS
La la la la la la la

MALE CHORUS
Zip-a-dee-ay…

FEMALE CHORUS
La la la la la la la
What a wonderful day.

CHORUS
What a wonderful day.
(Wonderful day. Wonderful day.)

M-I-C-K-E-Y
M-O-U-S-E!

FEMALE SOLOIST
Well I think I’ve seen about everything
When I see an elephant fly!

CHORUS
La la la la la
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!

Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Fantasy!

(DONALD, DAISY, and PLUTO float, and MICKEY and MINNIE balloon float approach.)

MICKEY MOUSE
Oh boy! That’s right! This is the best celebration ever! Gosh Minnie, isn’t this fun?, etc.

MINNIE
I just love a parade! We’re flying! etc.

CHORUS
Dreams that glow (dreams that glow),
Wondrous, dazzling brilliantly.
So, away we go.
It’s a Festival of Fantasy!
Fantasy!

It’s a Festival of Fantasy!

(Parade ends.)

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Country Bear Jamboree (Magic Kingdom)

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Lights up on BUFF, MELVYN, and MAX)

BUFF
(Whistles.) Hey, Henry, what’s holdin’ ya up? Let’s get on with the show!

MAX
Now, Buff, be patient.

MELVYN
Yeah, we ain’t goin’ anywhere anyhow. We’re kind of hung up here! (Laughs.)

(GOMER has appeared on stage at the piano.)

HENRY (Offstage)
Gimme a little intro there, Gomer.

(GOMER starts playing the piano. Stage left curtain opens to reveal HENRY.)

HENRY
Howdy folks! Welcome to the one and only, original, Country Bear Jamboree — featuring a bit of Americana, our musical heritage of the past. And right now, I give you a sordid assortment of executioners of music and song. The Five Bear Rugs… Hit it boys!

(Center curtain opens to reveal FIVE BEAR RUGS playing instruments. Little OSCAR sits on the edge of the stage, clutching his teddy bear. GOMER and his piano exit into the stage.)

HENRY
The Bear Band bears will play now,

In the good ol’ key of G.
Zeke and Zeb and Ted and Fred,
And a bear named Tennessee.

Zeke’s a-twangin’ on the banjo,
And a-tappin’ with his feet.
A-bangin’ on a dishpan,
With a real ol’ country beat.

(ZEKE takes a solo.)

HENRY
Zeb’s a-sawin’ on the fiddle

With a crooked hickory bow.
When the spirit moves that bruin,
He can make that fiddle go.

(ZEB takes a solo.)

HENRY
Brother Ted is on the corn jug —

Now, I mean, that bear can blow!
He also plays the washboard
With a handle of a hoe.

(TED takes a solo.)

HENRY
And big Fred’s playin’ mouth harp.

He plays it kinda sad.
He never took a lesson;
He just picked it up from Dad.

(FRED takes a solo.)

HENRY
And li’l ol’ Tennessee Bear

Is a-featured on the thing.
Sounds just like a guitar,
But it’s only got one string.

(TENESSEE takes a solo.)

HENRY
So clap your hands,

And stomp your feet,
And try to keep right with ’em.
One sure thing the Bear Band’s got
Is real ol’ country rhythm.

Ah ha!

(OSCAR squeezes his teddy bear, which squeaks. Curtain opens stage right to reveal ERNEST, “The Dude,” playing the fiddle.)

ERNEST
One night, I left the wife at home,
And I went out with the boys.
I was acting like a Don Juan,
And making a lot of noise.

ZEKE
Tell ’em, lover boy!

ERNEST
A go-go girl caught my hand,
I said, “I can’t. I’m a married man.”
She said “If you ain’t gonna steal,
You better not prowl.”

ZEB
He’s a born loser!

ERNEST
Don’t do-si-do with a go-go.
If you can’t bite, don’t growl.
If you can’t bite, don’t growl.

(Curtain closes on ERNEST. Curtain opens on HENRY.)

HENRY
And now, a heart-renderin’ ditty, by our old growler of song — Liver Lips McGrowl! Sing it, Mac!

(Curtain opens on LIVER LIPS.)

LIVER LIPS
I got a woman, she’s got me.
Whatever we do, we both agree.
She ain’t purty, but I ain’t too.
The things we like are the things we do.

My woman ain’t purty, but she don’t swear none.
She’s kinda heavy — don’t weigh a ton.
She’s my woman, through and through.
I love her only, ’cause my heart is true.

(Curtain closes on LIVER LIPS. Curtain opens center to reveal barnyard backdrop. WENDELL rises downstage left.)

WENDELL AND HENRY
Mama, don’t whup little Buford.
Mama, don’t pound on his head.
Mama, don’t whup little Buford…
I think you should shoot him instead.

HENRY
Bang!

(WENDELL laughs.)

HENRY
Yes, folks, we only have high-class stuff on this show. And now, here’s a special treat out of Tampa — our own Trixie!

(Curtain opens to reveal TRIXIE. GOMER plays the piano.)

TRIXIE
Tears will be the chaser for your wine
After you leave this love of mine.
Bright lights and taverns,
That’s where you’ll spend your time.
And tears will the be chaser for your wine.

(Curtain closes on TRIXIE. Another curtain opens on TERRENCE.)

TERRENCE
How long is forever?
How soon is now or never?
How long will these heartaches linger on?
And how long will my baby be gone?

(Lights flash as drums sound. Blackout on TERRENCE. Lights up on HENRY.)

HENRY
(Chuckles. Clears throat.) And now, here they come — those little Sun Bonnets from the sunshine state, Bunny, Bubbles, and Buelah!

(The SUN BONNETS rise up center stage. Slides projected behind them show animation and lyrics.)

SUN BONNETS
Every time I meet a guy who gets me shook,
All I ever get from him’s a dirty look.
It’s the same way everywhere, I’ve found.
All the guys that turn me on turn me down.

All the guys that turn me on turn me down.
Nothing works for me that I’ve found.
It’s the same way everywhere, I see.
Nothing ever seems to work for me.

Doodle doodle doodle do,
Bum bum!

(Blackout. Curtain opens on HENRY.)

HENRY
My, my. Well, here she is — that delightful, delicate, dedicated, and dimpled darling of the Dakotas. Last of the big time swingers: Swingin’ Teddi Barra!

(TEDDI BARRA swings down from above.)

TEDDI BARRA
Well, there he goes.
He hardly knows
The heart he’s breaking.

MAX
Lovely, lovely.

TEDDI BARRA
I talked to him,
But I don’t think
He understood.

BUFF
Aw, sing it gal!

TEDDI BARRA
Oh, just forget
About the plans
That we were makin’.

HENRY
My, my.

TEDDI BARRA
Heart, we did all that we could.

(Music continues as TEDDI BARRA’s swing starts to rise.)

TEDDI BARRA
Y’all come up and see me some time, ya hear?!

HENRY
Yeah! Soon as I find a ladder, I’ll be right up! Mm-hmm!

(Out of tune note sounds and a spotlight shines on the curtain stage right. It opens to reveal BIG AL.)

BIG AL
There was blood on the saddle,
And blood all around,
And a great big puddle
Of blood on the ground.

Heh-heh-heh.

(Blackout. Curtain stage left opens on HENRY. This time he has SAMMY the raccoon as his hat.)

HENRY
Born on a mountain top in Tennessee —
Greenest state in the land of the free.
Raised in the woods, so’s he knew every tree.
Tamed him a “bar” when he was only three.

HENRY AND SAMMY
Davy, Davy Crockett. King of the wild frontier. 

Off in the woods, he’s a-marchin’ along.
Making up yarns, and a-singing his song.
Itchin’ for fighting, and righting a wrong…

(During the second verse, the curtain opens again on BIG AL, who continues to sing “Blood on the Saddle” over HENRY and SAMMY’s performance.)

BIG AL
Blood on the saddle…

HENRY
Hey, wait a minute! Hold the phone down there, you’ve had your turn now!

BIG AL
And blood all around…

SAMMY
Henry, Henry! We need help!

HENRY
Right, Sammy! Hey, gang — hit it!

(All the curtains open again to reveal the whole cast of BEARS. They sing over BIG AL, who continues to sing “Blood on the Saddle.”)

BEARS
Yee-haw, etc!

ENSEMBLE
High on the mountain,
Tell me what do you see?
Bear tracks, bear tracks,
Looking back at me.

Better get your rifles,
Before it’s too late.
Bear’s got a little big,
And he’s headed through the gate.

He’s big around the middle,
And he’s broad across the rump.
Running ninety miles an hour,
Making 30 feet a jump.

He’s never been cornered,
And he’s never been treed.
Some folks say he looks a lot like me.

(Curtains close and lots of crashing sounds are heard. Lights up on the three busts, who laugh. Lights back up on HENRY and SAMMY.)

HENRY
Well, as you can see, we’re just one big, happy family. (Clears throat.) Well folks, this concludes our show. So thanks for bearing with us to the bear end. What do you say Sammy?

SAMMY
I say, you all come back, ya hear?

HENRY, SAMMY, BUFF, MELVYN, AND MAX
We hope that you’ll be coming back again.
That you’ll drop in and see us now and then.
We’ve done our very best to please
With just the “bear” necessities.
We hope that you’ll be coming back again.

Come again.
Come again.

MELVYN
The welcome mat is always out,
‘Cause seeing you is fine.

BUFF, MELVYN, AND MAX
We hope that you’ll be coming back again.

MAX
Don’t forget to gather your belongings…

MELVYN
And your husband too!

MAX
It’s been good to have you.

BUFF
So long folks!

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Enchanted Tales with Belle (Magic Kingdom)

(Guests enter Maurice’s Cottage.)

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Bonjour, everyone! As most of you know, Belle’s father Maurice is an inventor, and this is his workshop. If you look around the workshop, you’ll see plans and lots of working models of some of Maurice’s inventions. Feel free to take as many photos as you like — but please, no flash photography or video lighting.

Now, if you would all direct your attention to the beautiful mirror on the wall. This was actually a gift given from the Beast to Maurice so that he could visit Princess Belle at the castle whenever he wanted. This magic mirror can transport us to the castle at any point in time, and I think I know the perfect time.

Now, repeat after me: “Take me back to the day Belle and Beast fell in love.”

GUESTS
Take me back to the day Belle and Beast fell in love.

(The mirror glows green. Music begins. The forest appears in the mirror, and we pan up to Beast’s castle. The mirror begins to grow. As wooden doors appear on the mirror, they open to reveal the passage into the next room.)

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Welcome to the castle on the day that Belle and the Beast fell in love!

WARDROBE
Helloooo! Welcome! Welcome to the castle! Oh, come in, come in! We just love having visitors… even though the Master can be a bit of a beast sometimes about it. (Laughs.) Oh, and please, let’s have the young ones right up front. That’s it! And grownups, behind them, so everybody can see. You can see me, can’t you? Yes! (Laughs.) I’m so excited! Are we all here? Ready to begin? Wonderful. Bonjour, everyone!

GUESTS
Bonjour!

WARDROBE
Aren’t you a good-looking bunch?! Especially you in the back! This is so exciting — tonight’s the night Belle and the Beast fall in love… at least we hope so! And to help move things along, you’re all going to surprise Belle and act out the story of how they met! Oh, I can hardly wait!

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
I can’t either! Are you guys ready to surprise Belle?

GUESTS
Yeah!

WARDROBE
Wonderful! And we have enough parts for everyone! First, we need two big strong suits of armor to march around and protect the castle.

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Everyone, march! (Chooses two adult GUESTS.) All right, lets have you, sir. And you, sir.

WARDROBE
Oh, and of course, we’ll need someone to play the Master — the Beast! He has a mighty roar!

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Okay, put those paws up and roar!

GUESTS
Roar!

(CAST MEMBER chooses a GUEST and puts the cape on him.)

WARDROBE
Next, we need Belle’s father, Maurice. Maurice gets locked in a dungeon, where he shivers from the cold.

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
The dungeon is very cold! Everybody, shiver! (Chooses a GUEST.)

WARDROBE
And of course, we need someone to play Philippe — Maurice’s horse! Philippe says “neigh!”

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Okay, everyone, neigh!

GUESTS
Neigh!

(CAST MEMBER picks a GUEST to play PHILIPPE)

WARDROBE
And now, Mrs. Potts and dear little Chip, the teacup! They hop everywhere.

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Okay, guys. Now everyone hop, hop, hop! (Chooses two GUESTS.)

WARDROBE
And finally, it’s time to decide who gets to portray me! Oh, you’ve got some awfully big drawers to fill. Okay, give me a great big ah-ahhhhhh!

GUESTS
Ah-ahhhhh!

(CAST MEMBER chooses a WARDROBE.)

WARDROBE
Does everybody have a part who wants one?

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Okay, if anyone else wants a part, raise your hand! (Hands out PLATES, SALT SHAKERS, etc.)

WARDROBE
And now, I have a part for everyone to play. It will be your job to make the sound of a horse galloping. (GUESTS practice.) Oh, wonderful! I think we have time for a quick rehearsal. We’ll start with our Beast. Let me hear you roar! (BEAST roars.) Everybody, roar! (GUESTS roar.) Wonderful! And now, Philippe, give me a great big “neigh!” (PHILIPPE neighs.) And, uh, Mrs. Potts, Chip, hop! (MRS. POTTS and CHIP hop.) Oh, very good. Suits of armor, march! Really stomp those feet! Maurice, shiver! Philippe, neigh! Ooh, everybody gallop. Come on, gallop! Mrs. Potts and Chip, hop! Maurice, shiver! Roar, Beast, roar! Everybody, roar!

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Wonderful! Everybody, give yourselves a round of applause!

WARDROBE
Bravo! Bravo! Oh, I think you’re going to be just wonderful. Belle will be so delighted to see you.  Just wait ’til she sees your performance! It’ll be fabulous! Now, Lumiere will be calling you in soon, and when he does, file into the library quickly and take your seats. Oh, and remember it’s a surpriiiiiiise. So, mum’s the word!

LUMIERE
Allo, bonjour! We are ready!

(Doors to library open.)

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
All right, everyone, let’s have our cast come in first, and then our audience.

WARDROBE
Au revoir! Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

(GUESTS file into the library.)

LUMIERE
Oh, come in, come in. Please, sit down. Well, Chéris, before your big dinner with the Master tonight, we thought it would be fun to act out a story with you.

(GUESTS take their seats.)

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Lumiere, I think they’re ready.

LUMIERE
Ah, wonderful! Suits of armor, are you ready?

SUITS OF ARMOR
Oui!

LUMIERE
Superb! Now, you have the hardest part of all. Throughout the entire tale, don’t move. (Laughs.) I’m joking… You will be marching soon enough! Now, remember, Belle doesn’t know you’re here, so shh! I shall call her in, and when she enters, we’ll all shout “surprise!”

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Great idea, Lumiere. Now, everyone, please stay nice and quiet, and when I say “now,” we’ll all shout “surprise!” Oh, and Lumiere, the lights…

LUMIERE
But of course. (Lowers the lights. Calls out.) Belle! Where are you, mademoiselle?

(BELLE enters.)

BELLE
Lumiere?

CAST MEMBER
Now!

GUESTS
Surprise!

BELLE (ad lib)
My goodness! It’s all my friends from the village. This is such a wonderful surprise. Hello there, etc. Lumiere, what brings all of my friends to the library this evening?

LUMIERE
Well, Chérie, before your big dinner with the master tonight, we thought it would be fun to act out a story with you!

BELLE (ad lib)
Oh, that sounds wonderful… As long as I don’t keep the Beast waiting.

LUMIERE
Very well! Let us begin. Once upon a time, there was a charming, intelligent young woman whose name was Belle.

BELLE (ad lib)
Oh, Lumiere…

LUMIERE
Belle lived in a quiet little village, and each morning to everyone, Belle would say “bonjour!”

BELLE
Bonjour, everyone!

GUESTS
Bonjour, Belle!

LUMIERE
Then, one night, when her father was away on a journey, Belle heard the sound of galloping.

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Everyone, gallop! (Brings PHILIPPE forward.)

LUMIERE
It was her father’s horse, Philippe, returning to town. But Maurice, he was not with him. Belle asked Philippe where her father was.

BELLE (ad lib)
Philippe, where’s Papa?

PHILIPPE
Neigh!

LUMIERE
Which means, “I… think he’s somewhere in the forest.”

BELLE (ad lib)
Of course, thank you.

LUMIERE
So Belle set off through the forest to find her father.

BELLE (ad lib)
Papa! Papa! (She wanders around the room, looking for him.)

LUMIERE
As she searched, she could hear the wind whistling.

(CAST MEMBER gets GUESTS to mimic whistling wind.)

LUMIERE
And the wolves howling.

(CAST MEMBER leads GUESTS in a howl.)

LUMIERE
At last, she came to a castle. And there, locked in a cold, dark dungeon cell, she found her father, Maurice, shivering.

(MAURICE shivers.)

LUMIERE
Then, suddenly, the biggest, most ferocious beast Belle had ever seen jumped out and roared!

(BEAST roars.)

LUMIERE
The suits of armor screeched at the top of their lungs.

(SUITS OF ARMOR scream.)

LUMIERE
Belle pleaded with the Beast to let Maurice go. But the Beast refused. So Belle agreed to take her father’s place.

BELLE (ad lib)
You go home, Papa. I’ll stay here.

LUMIERE
Later that night, Belle became hungry and searched the castle for something to eat. So imagine her surprise when a tiny teacup named Chip hopped up to her and said “hello.”

(CHIP hops up to BELLE.)

BELLE (ad lib)
Bonjour!

LUMIERE
Then Mrs. Potts hopped up and poured her a nice cup of tea.

(MRS. POTTS hops over to BELLE and pours tea.)

BELLE (ad lib)
Well, thank your very much!

LUMIERE
Suddenly, all the enchanted objects jumped to their feet! The suits of armor marched in time as we invited everyone to… (Sings.)

(BELLE leads the ENCHANTED OBJECTS as they march around the room.)

LUMIERE
Be our guest,

Be our guest,
Put our service to the test!
Tie your napkin ’round your neck, Chérie,
And we provide the rest!

Soup du jour,
Hot hors d’oeuvres,
Why, we only live to serve!
Try the grey stuff — it’s delicious!
Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes!

They can sing!
They can dance!
After all, miss, this is France.
And a dinner here is never second best.

Go on, unfold your menu,
Take a glance and then you’ll
Be our guest!
Oui, our guest!
Be our guest!

(CAST MEMBER presents each character for a round of applause.)

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Maurice! Philippe! Chip! Mrs. Potts! Madame Wardrobe! The plates! The salt shakers!

BELLE (ad lib)
Wonderful! It was great seeing you all. You all did such a wonderful job, etc.

LUMIERE
Be our guest,
Be our guest,
Be our guest!
Please be our guest!

(Music transitions to “Beauty and the Beast.” BELLE dances with BEAST.)

LUMIERE
And as time went on, Belle realized the the Beast was not mean or cruel — but in his heart, was sweet and kind. And Belle and the Beast became the very best of friends. And that is the story of how the Beauty met the Beast.

(Applause.)

LUMIERE
Oh, superb! Magnifique! Thank you all so much! And to show our appreciation, we’ll give you something to mark the occasion.

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Here we are, Belle — your favorite bookmarks.

BELLE (ad lib)
What a wonderful idea. Now you can all use them to mark your favorite part of the book too.

(GUESTS who participated in the story file through, get bookmarks, and take pictures with BELLE.)

LUMIERE
Excusez-moi, mademoiselle! Dinner awaits!

BELLE (ad lib)
Of course. I don’t want to keep Beast waiting! Thank you all so much for your help today. Goodbye!

(BELLE exits.)

LUMIERE
Au revoir, Chérie! Good luck! Suits of armor, you are dismissed! Goodbye, one and all!

CAST MEMBER (ad lib)
Okay, everyone, now please stand up and exit the library. Thank you all for joining us, etc.

(GUESTS exit.)

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Walt Disney World Railroad (Magic Kingdom)

(Train stops at Main Street Station.)

NARRATOR
Welcome aboard the Walt Disney World Railroad! We’re about to take a grand circle tour of the Magic Kingdom, with stops along the way at Frontierland and Fantasyland. Just sit tight and keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs well inside the train. We’re leaving Main Street Station right now, so wave goodbye — but if you stay on board long enough, why, sooner or later, you’ll be back.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

For an old conductor like me, there’s no better place to ride the rails than the Magic Kingdom. By the way, we’re traveling on pure steam power. This old locomotive is descended from the mighty trains that powered the golden age of steam. And just like me, it’s a little old-fashioned. Now, where else can you travel from the charm of Main Street, U.S.A. to the untamed jungles of Africa, Asia, and South America? At the Magic Kingdom, anything is possible, and we’re headed straight to the heart of Adventureland. It can get pretty wild in these parts — especially if you run into Captain Jack Sparrow. He’s hidin’ out among those scurrilous Pirates of the Caribbean. But whether you’re boardin’ a boat for the Jungle Cruise or flyin’ on Aladdin’s magic carpets, when you visit Adventureland, bring an extra dose of bravery. As for me, I’ll stay safe and sound right here aboard my train, if ya don’t mind.

(Train whistle sounds.)

We’ve reached the wild west of the Magic Kingdom: Frontierland. Well, this outpost is home to the covered wagons, cowpokes, and Country Bears. And we’ve got our own mountain range of excitin’ adventures. You might catch a runaway mine train at Big Thunder Mountain, or hop on over to Splash Mountain and join Br’er Rabbit for a 50-foot drop straight down into the briar patch. We’ve reached Frontierland Station, everyone, so sit tight until we’ve come to a complete stop. If you’re disembarking here, please carry your strollers all the way off the platform before you unfold ’em. That’ll help make room for the new passengers joinin’ us. Watch your step now — this is Frontierland Station.

(Train stops at Frontierland Station. Train leaves the station.)

Howdy, folks! If you’re just joinin’ us, welcome aboard the Walt Disney World Railroad. We’re headed for Fantasyland and to Main Street, U.S.A. Everybody stay seated, and keep your hands and arms, feet, and legs safely inside the train. And as always, keep an eye on your little ones.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

As we head into the American wilderness, we’ll pass by the dusty desert town of Tumbleweed. Keep your eyes peeled for the runaway mine trains of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Runaway trains… now I ask you — is that any way to run a railroad? I feel right at home here in the prairies and forests of the American wilderness. These woods haven’t changed much since the days when settlers started headin’ west! Nowadays, the rails can carry us safely through the wild, and a trip that used to take months can now be made in just a few weeks. There’s plenty of deer, antelope, and elk that feed along the banks of the river. And naturally, plenty of early settlers decided to put down stakes and live here too. Of course, those early settlers weren’t the first to make their home in this wild frontier. These native tribes of Plains Indians were living, hunting, and trading for centuries before we ever came along. They were the first to tame the wild horses of the American plains — long before our big ol’ iron horses started chuggin’ through these parts.

We’re almost out of the woods, folks. We’re comin’ up on the most magical of lands: Fantasyland — a place where any dream can come true! Fly over London with Peter Pan. Set sail on “it’s a small world.” Take a trip under the sea with The Little Mermaid. Be our guest at an enchanted feast in the Beast’s Castle. Or journey into the Seven Dwarfs’ mine, where a million diamonds shine. Whether you’re a pixie, a princess, or just an everyday dreamer, there’s always something special about Fantasyland.

If you’ve been riding trains as long as this old-timer, you may remember the days when the circus would come to town on the local railway. Well, the circus is here, and it’s set up permanent headquarters as the Fantasyland Storybook Circus. This is the place to fly high with Dumbo, or join Goofy on the Barnstormer — a frolicking ride of circus acrobatics and coaster thrills. This station is also your gateway to the rest of Fantasyland and Tomorrowland. Now, please wait until the train has come to a complete stop, gather your belongings, and carry your strollers away from the platform before you start unfoldin’ ’em. That way, we can start loadin’ up for the next leg of our trip. For those of your disembarking, please watch your step, and thanks for traveling with us on the Walt Disney World Railroad. Join us again real soon. If you’re stayin’ aboard, our next stop is Main Street Station.

(Train stops at Fantasyland Station. Train leaves the station.)

Looks like we’re ready to embark on the next leg of our journey! Our destination is Main Street, U.S.A. Now, everyone stay seated, and keep your hands and arms, feet, and legs inside the train at all times. And please, keep an eye on your children.

(Spanish safety spiel.)

There are some who say that this steam train is a little old-fashioned — but for me, it’s the only way to travel. Of course, there are those who prefer to hit the highway, and on the right, you just might spot some pint-sized drivers taking their first spin behind the wheel of a car. Gettin’ from place to place is a big deal in Tomorrowland, where you might board a PeopleMover, zip around on the Astro Orbiter, or book a flight across the galaxy at our busy Starport in Space Mountain. Tomorrowland is truly a world on the move!

Speaking of moving, seems like a whole lot of new neighbors have been migrating in from all corners of the Milky Way. There’s that rascally Experiment 626 — better known as Stitch — always up to his usual antics. Buzz Lightyear is scoutin’ for a few good Space Rangers. Even the monsters of Monstropolis have taken a shine to Tomorrowland. I hear those monsters are pretty funny (they’re sure funny-lookin’).

Yup, the future is here today at the Magic Kingdom — and the future looks like a lot of fun. But after workin’ on the railroad all the live-long day, it’s nice to come home to good old Main Street, U.S.A. Inspired by the small-town dreams of a young Walt Disney, a walk down Main Street is like steppin’ back into the early years of the 20th century. Of course, ours is a Main Street of the imagination, and we’ve got our own hometown hero: Mickey Mouse! Mickey and his friends have gathered at the Town Square Theatre, and they’re always happy to meet their fans!

We’ve made a complete trip around the Magic Kingdom. For those of you who’ve been on board for the whole journey, thanks for puttin’ up with me these last few days. If you’re stayin’ with us, we’ll be headed for Frontierland next. Right now, please stay seated until our train comes to a complete stop. Then pick up your belongings, and carefully step off the train. If you have strollers to unfold, please take ’em all the way beyond the platform so we can safely board passengers for the next leg of our journey. This is Main Street Station — Main Street, U.S.A.

(Train stops at Main Street Station.)

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Hocus Pocus Villain Spelltacular (Magic Kingdom)

(Lightning flashes over the castle as thunder claps.)

THACKERY BINKS (VOICEOVER)
Good evening, friends. Tonight, on All Hallows’ Eve, your world and the magical world collide for but one night—a night filled with a little trick, a little treat, and a bit of hocus pocus.

(CHORUS begins entering and singing underscore of “Season of the Witch.” They dance with candelabras.)

SOLOIST
When I look out my window,
Many sights to see.
And when I look in my window,
So many different people to be
That it’s strange, so strange.

You’ve got to pick up every stitch,
You’ve got to pick up every stitch,
Two rabbits running in the ditch,
Oh no! 

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.
Must be the season of the witch.

(Dance break.)

CHORUS
Oh no!
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
Must be the season of the witch.
Must be the season of the witch!

CHORUS
Oh no!

SOLOIST
When I look!

(Applause. More thunder and lightning. The SANDERSON SISTERS—WINIFRED, MARY, and SARAH enter from behind the CHORUS.)

WINIFRED
(Cackles.) The Sanderson Sisters are back!

SARAH
Hi!

MARY
We’re back! Back where, Winnie?

WINIFRED
Isn’t it obvious?! We’re back in the living world.

MARY
The living world!

WINIFRED
Yes—don’t you understand?

MARY
No…

WINIFRED
We’ve harnessed the magic found within this kingdom to return for but one night.

SARAH
One night’s all I need!

WINIFRED
And we shall make it a grand night—

MARY
Winnie…

WINIFRED
—full of spellbinding tricks and treats.

MARY
Winnie!

WINIFRED
A night that will long be remembered!

MARY
Winnie!!

WINIFRED
What is it, Mary?!

MARY
I smell children.

SARAH (looking out into the audience)
Children!!

MARY
There are so many of them—dressed funny!

WINIFRED
Fools! Of course there are children. (To audience.) Tell me, what year is it? I said what year is it?

(Audience yells out the year.)

SARAH
2016!

WINIFRED
Sisters, it’s been 23 years since we last returned.

MARY
We’re getting better at this…

WINIFRED
And it’s All Hallows’ Eve—our favorite time of year.

MARY
Winnie, remember what happened on our last Halloween?

SARAH
We turned to dust! Dust! Dust! Dust! Dust—

WINIFRED
(Punches SARAH in the stomach.) Ugh! Don’t remind me!

SARAH
Sorry Winnie…

WINIFRED
That is why we have returned: to celebrate Halloween and to throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen. (Laughs.) But we’ll need some help.

(CHORUS begins singing “oohs”)

MARY
Oh Sarah!

SARAH
I was thinking the same thing, dear sisters.

Come, little children,
I’ll take thee away
Into a land of enchantment.

Come, little children,
The time’s come to play!
Here in my garden of magic.

(CHORUS has gathered around SARAH.)

MARY
Brava! Every time…

SARAH
Winnie, here you go.

WINIFRED
Well done, Sarah! I knew I kept you around for a reason. Now, let’s get this party started! We will need a spell for the Hocus Pocus Party Potion. Well, sisters, hand me the spell!

SARAH
What spell…?

WINIFRED
What spell?! The spell I asked you to hold onto to give me at a time like this!

(SARAH and MARY look around and under their dresses.)

SARAH
We can’t find it, Winnie…

WINIFRED
Why have I been cursed with such sisters?

MARY
Perhaps some chocolate will cheer you up? (Hands WINIFRED chocolate.)

WINIFRED
What is this?

MARY
Chocolate. Dark chocolate—the only candy I like.

WINIFRED
(Unfurling candy.) No—this?!

MARY
It’s the spell!

WINIFRED
And what’s it doing wrapped around Halloween chocolate?

MARY
I don’t know, Winnie!

WINIFRED
Enough! We’ve lost enough time as is. Sisters, to the cauldron!

(The SISTERS run to the giant cauldron, which is smoking ominously.)

WINIFRED
(Hands the spell to SARAH.) Pray tell, what is the first ingredient, Sarah?

SARAH (Reading)
“Sinister shadows!”

WINIFRED AND MARY (ad lib)
Ooh, sinister shadows…

SARAH
“As dark as midnight, and as mysterious as the unknown.”

MARY
But Winnie, where are we gonna get shadows that sinister…?

(DR. FACILIER appears on the other side of the stage.)

DR. FACILIER
Hello, ladies.

MARY AND SARAH (ad lib)
Look, a man! It’s the man who took the shadows away, etc.

WINIFRED
And who are you?

DR. FACILIER
A tip of the hat from the one and only Dr. Facilier—also known as the Shadow Man.

WINIFRED
Shadow Man?

MARY AND SARAH
Shadow Man!

DR. FACILIER
Now I hear y’all are in need of some sinister shadows. Well, you’re in luck because ladies, I can deliver.

WINIFRED
And what makes you think we need your help, “Shadow Man”? (Laughs.)

(MARY and SARAH laugh too.)

DR. FACILIER
Don’t you disrespect me, li’l lady!

WINIFRED
Little?

DR. FACILIER
Don’t you derogate or deride.
You’re in my world now, not your world,
And I got friends on the other side.

SISTERS
He’s got friends on the other side!

WINIFRED
Perhaps he knows mother!

SISTERS
Mother! (They look down together.)

DR. FACILIER
Sit down at my table. Put your mind at ease.
If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please.
I can read your future, I can change it ’round some too.
I’ll look deep into your heart and soul—
You got a soul, don’t you?
Make your wildest dreams come true!

I got voodoo, I got hoodoo,
I got things I ain’t even tried!
And I got friends on the other side.

SISTERS AND CHORUS
He’s got friends on the other side

DR. FACILIER
The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well!
The cards, the cards, just take three.

MARY
We’ll take these!

DR. FACILIER
Take a little trip into your future with me.
Shake my hand. Come on, girls—won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?

WINIFRED
(Shakes his hand.) We’d love to!

DR. FACILIER
Yes!
Are you ready?

CHORUS
Are you ready?

DR. FACILIER
Are you ready?
Transformation central!

CHORUS
Transformation central!

DR. FACILIER
Reformation central!

CHORUS
Reformation central!

DR. FACILIER
Transmogrification central!

Can you feel it?
You’re changin’, you’re changin’,
You’re changin’ all right.
I hope you’re satisfied!

WINIFRED
Yes, thank you!

DR. FACILIER
But if you ain’t, don’t blame me.
You can blame my friends on the other side!

MARY AND SARAH
We got what we wanted!

WINIFRED
We got what we need!

(DR. FACILIER laughs as the song ends. Applause.)

WINIFRED
Wonderful! Our Hocus Pocus Party Potion is coming together. Thank you, Dr. Facilier.

SARAH
Can we keep him?

WINIFRED
Focus! Now, Mary—

MARY
Yes?

WINIFRED
What is our next dastardly ingredient?

MARY (Reading)
Uh… “fairest mares”

WINIFRED
What is that—some type of horse?

MARY
Wait! There was chocolate smudged over the words… (Laughs.)

WINIFRED
(Mimics MARY.) There was chocolate— (Snapping.) Gimme that!

MARY
Winnie! Do we need to hold a calming circle?

WINIFRED
I am calm!!

MARY
Thou art not being honest with thyself—take my hand.

(MARY and SARAH grab WINIFRED’S hands.)

WINIFRED
(Shakes them off.) You fools! There is no time! The ingredient! (Slapping MARY.) Read the ingredient!!

MARY
Fine. (She steps away from WINIFRED, looking wary. Reading.) “Nefarious nightmares: as terrifying as the shadows on the moon at night—filling dreams to the brim with fright.”

(Music for “Oogie Boogie’s Song” has begun and grows louder. SISTERS and CHORUS react to three knocks. The gates upstage open and OOGIE BOOGIE enters, laughing.)

MARY
Come in!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Well, well, well… What have we here?

WINIFRED
I might ask the same of you, you—well, what are you?

OOGIE BOOGIE
Why, I’m just little old Oogie Boogie is all. You know, the shadow on the moon at night—filling your dreams to the brim with fright!

SARAH
Winnie, it’s nefarious nightmares!

WINIFRED
What makes you so scary, you overstuffed potato sack? (Laughs.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
My dear, I’m the stuff of your worst nightmares.

WINIFRED
We don’t have nightmares; we cause nightmares!

OOGIE BOOGIE
(Laughs.)
You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’!
I can’t believe my eyes.
You’re jokin’ me, you gotta be,
No matter how she tries.

She’s ancient, she’s ugly!
I don’t know which is worse.
I might just split a seam now,
If I don’t die laughin’ first!

WINIFRED
Who does he think he is?!

MARY
How rude!

OOGIE BOOGIE
When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There’s trouble close at hand,
You’d better pay attention now,
‘Cause I’m the Boogie Man!

And if you aren’t shakin’,
There’s something very wrong.
‘Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song.
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Whoa!

CHORUS
Ohhh, he’s the Oogie Boogie Man.

OOGIE BOOGIE
Well if I’m feelin’ antsy,
And there’s nothin’ much to do,
I might just cook a special batch
Of snake and spider stew!

MARY
Yummy!

OOGIE BOOGIE
And don’t ya know the one thing
That would make it work so nice?
A roly-poly Sandy Sis to add a little spice.
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Ohhh!

OOGIE BOOGIE
Ohhh!

CHORUS
Oh, yeah! He’s the Oogie Boogie Man!

OOGIE BOOGIE
You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’!
I can’t believe my ears…
Would someone shut this sister up?
I’m drownin’ in my tears.

It’s funny, I’m laughing!
You really are too much.
And now, with your permission
I’m going to do my stuff.

SARAH
Oh, what are you gonna do?

OOGIE BOOGIE
I’m gonna do the best I can.

(Dance break. The SISTERS are controlled by OOGIE BOOGIE.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
Oh, sisters, you’re something—
You put me in a spin.
You aren’t comprehending
The position that you’re in.

It’s hopeless, you’re finished.
You haven’t got a prayer
‘Cause I’m Mr. Oogie Boogie
And you ain’t going nowhere!

Boo!!

(SISTERS scream. Applause.)

OOGIE BOOGIE
Now that’s what I call “nefarious nightmares.”

WINIFRED
What just happened?!

MARY
You see, he scared us and made our nightmares true, and then you cried, and I know I cried—

WINIFRED
Enough!! We get it. (Turns and sees OOGIE BOOGIE right behind her. She jumps.) Ooh, uh, thank you Mr… Boogie. (Shakes his hand.)

SARAH
(Takes his hand.) Can we keep him too?

WINIFRED
Focus! Focus! Sisters, it’s working! The Hocus Pocus Party Potion is coming together! Quick, read me the last ingredient.

MARY AND SARAH (Reading)
Uhh, “frightful friends!” Frightful friends! Frightful friends!

WINIFRED
(Smacks SARAH.) Let me see that! (Takes the spell and reads.) Let’s see here, “Frightful friends who add power to the potion—after all, a party is only as good as those you invite”?! What is this?!

MARY
It’s actually a very nice sentiment if you think about it—

WINIFRED
(Smacks MARY.) Nooo, fools! We don’t have any friends.

SARAH
We’re your friends!

WINIFRED
No, we’re sisters. I have to like you…

SARAH
Oh…

WINIFRED
This may be the end. I just wanted to throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen. Goodbye, cruel world!!

MARY AND SARAH (ad lib)
Goodbye, bye-bye, etc.

(A flash of green fire and smoke erupts from upstage, scaring the SISTERS. MALEFICENT enters.)

MALEFICENT
My, my… another party to which I wasn’t invited.

WINIFRED
Maleficent! (Bowing.) Oh great one, if we had known you would come, we would have invited you for sure.

SARAH
(Bowing.) We are not worthy!

MARY
(Aside.) Maleficent—she is greener than I thought. And those horns are huge? How does she sleep—

WINIFRED
Silence!

MALEFICENT
I will consider it but an oversight then, hmm?

WINIFRED
Perhaps you could help us with our Hocus Pocus Party Potion so that we may throw the most villainous Halloween party this kingdom has ever seen?

MALEFICENT
Perhaps…

WINIFRED
(Groveling.) We were wondering, your excellency, if you would help us with our last ingredient?

MALEFICENT
And that would be…?

SARAH
Frightful friends! Frightful friends—

(MALEFICENT makes thunder crack. SISTERS jump back in fear.)

MALEFICENT
Lore and legend are full of villainous fiends. I suppose for such an occasion, I could conjure a few…

WINIFRED
I knew we would see eye to eye!

MALEFICENT
Listen well, all of you. If it is frightful friends that you request, each incantation calls forth a guest.

(EVIL QUEEN enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Come now, oh queen by power and right. Bring poison apples, and give us a fright!

(EVIL QUEEN hands a poison apple to a CHORUS member, who gives it to MARY to put in the cauldron.)

WINIFRED
Poison apple!

(HADES enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
From the underworld’s ungodly domain, we call forth the ruler of death and disdain.

(HADES summons fire and hands a fate’s eye up to the SISTERS at the cauldron.)

WINIFRED
Fate’s eye!

(CRUELLA DE VIL enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Come and inspire, with devious thoughts, a desire for furs—all covered in spots!

(CRUELLA DE VIL hands a bone up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Dog bone!

(CAPTAIN HOOK enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Impress us, oh pirate from a faraway land. Strike fear in our hearts with a hook for a hand!

(CAPTAIN HOOK hands a clock up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Ticking clock!

(JAFAR enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
We invite and compel here a slithering snake, with a sorcerer’s power to give but not take!

(JAFAR passes a golden scarab beetle up to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Scarab beetle!!

(LADY TREMAINE enters from the castle.)

MALEFICENT
Enter, good lady—by thee we are graced. Though manners be proper, they are but two-faced.

(LADY TREMAINE passes a large key to the SISTERS.)

WINIFRED
Golden key! (Walks down from the cauldron.) I have never seen so many frightful friends in one place.

MARY
Is this what it feels like to be popular?

WINIFRED
The potion is almost complete. It’s just missing one last thing—the hair of an innocent. (Looks left and right.) No, none of you? Imagine…

SARAH (Luring a CHORUS member)
Come little children,
I’ll take thee away.

WINIFRED
Oh, hello. I’ll be needing this! (Plucks a hair from the CHORUS member.) Thank you!

(SISTERS run up to the cauldron and add the hair. A gush of smoke erupts. WINIFRED cackles.)

WINIFRED
The Hocus Pocus Party Potion is complete. It’s time to party!

SARAH
But Winnie, what about them? (Points to the audience.)

WINIFRED
Leave our not-so-scary friends to me.

(Music begins.)

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.
You can’t stop the things I do—I ain’t lyin’.
It’s been 300 years, right down to the day.
Now the witch is back, and there’s “heck” to pay.
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine!

(Music picks up and CHORUS begins dancing. MARY and SARAH step up to microphone stands.)

WINIFRED
Hello, friends! My name’s Winifred—what’s yours?
I put a spell on you, and now you’re gone!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Gone, gone, gone! So long!

WINIFRED
My whammy fell on you, and it was strong.

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
So strong, so strong, so strong!

WINIFRED
Your wretched little lives have all been cursed.
‘Cause of all the witches working, I’m the worst!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Oooh, woo!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
She ain’t lyin’!

WINIFRED
If you don’t believe, you better get superstitious
Ask my sisters—

MARY AND SARAH
Ooh, she’s vicious!

WINIFRED
Photo op!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you—
A wicked spell!
I put a spell on you—
Time to bewitch them!

MARY
Gonna party all night.

SARAH
It’s the witching hour!

SISTERS AND CHORUS
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
In comma coriyama
In comma coriyama
Hey, hey, high, high

WINIFRED
We shall dance!

(Dance break, including solos from all the VILLAINS.)

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you, and now you’re gone!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Gone, gone, gone! So long!

WINIFRED
My whammy fell on you, and it was strong.

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
So strong, so strong, so strong!

WINIFRED
Your wretched little lives have all been cursed.
‘Cause of all the witches working, I’m the worst!

MARY, SARAH, AND CHORUS
Oooh, woo!

WINIFRED
I put a spell on you—
A wicked spell!
I put a spell on you—

SISTERS AND CHORUS
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
Ah say ento pi alpha mabi upendi
In comma coriyama
In comma coriyama
Hey, hey, high, high,
Say bye-bye!
Bye-bye!

(Song ends. Applause.)

WINIFRED
Now wasn’t that fun? Now go, all of you, and run amok!

SARAH
Amok! Amok amok amok amok—

WINIFRED
(Addresses VILLAINS as they start to exit.) Thank you, frightful friends! Hades, Queen, Cruella, etc. Boogie Man. Dr. Facilier, it’s been a pleasure. (VILLAINS finish exiting.) Sisters, we shall fly.

MARY
We didn’t bring our brooms…

WINIFRED
Then we shall walk!

SISTERS
Bye-bye, bye-bye!

(Music ends. Applause. SISTERS exit.)

THACKERY BINKS (VOICEOVER)
Now go forth, and party until the witching hour returns. Fare thee well, friends. Happy All Hallows’ Eve!

(Show ends.)

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