Carousel of Progress (Magic Kingdom) – Current Version (1994-Present) – Act III

*Sung lyrics in bold.

(Theatre begins to rotate from Act II.)

FATHER & CHORUS
There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow
Shining at the end of every day.
There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow,
And tomorrow is just a dream away.

Man has a dream and that’s the start.
He follows his dream with mind and heart.

And when it becomes a reality,
It’s a dream come true for you and me.

So there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow
Shining at the end of every day.
There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow,
Just a dream away.

(Theatre finishes rotating.)

FATHER
Well, it’s another Halloween here in the fabulous forties. Everything is better than ever now. And we’ve got some amazing new wonders around the house to prove it. For instance, our refrigerator holds more food than ice cubes. And thanks to our automatic dishwasher, I don’t have to dry the dishes anymore after supper. Gives Rover and I more time to enjoy our evening stroll together.

(ROVER barks.)

FATHER
(Chuckles.) Later boy. (To Audience.) Oh, and here’s something else that’s new. I just heard a new term today on the radio. Fella says we’ve go something now called the “rat race.” Did you ever hear that one? Sure describes my life. I’m involved in something now called “commuting.” I drive into the city for work all day and then turn right around and drive all the way back. And the highway is crowded with fellow rats doing the same thing!

GRANDMA (Offstage)
That’s what they call progress dear.

FATHER
(Laughs.) I guess she’s right. But we do have television—when it works. Gives you something to do after you come home. I kind of like it, y’know? Guy named John Cameron Swayze gives us all the news, and then they have all this singing and dancing. A lot of fluff, but it’s fun.

(Lights come up on right diorama, which shows GRANDMA watching the TV while GRANDPA naps.)

FATHER
You know, I predict the day when millions of people will learn Latin and Greek sitting in front of their TV sets.

GRANDMA (to GRANDPA)
Are you awake dear?

(GRANDPA snores, so GRANDMA changes the channel to a boxing match.) 

GRANDMA (to TV)
Give him a left you big lug!

(Lights out on diorama.)

FATHER
Ah yes, a new age of electronic civilization is upon us!

(Lights up on left diorama, revealing JIMMY wearing a werewolf costume and carving a pumpkin.)

JIMMY
Hey dad, what do you think of my jack-o-lantern? 

FATHER (Mock fear)
Oh! Boy is that scary!

JIMMY
That’s ’cause I used my beautiful sister Patty’s picture for a model! (Snickers.)

(ROVER barks.)

FATHER
Down Rover! (To JIMMY.) Jim, Rover appreciates your joke.

SARAH (Offstage)
Now, you’re always kidding poor Patty! She’s certainly prettier than either of you.

(JIMMY howls and ROVER joins in. Lights out on left diorama and up on right diorama to reveal PATRICIA using vibrating exercise machine and talking on the phone.)

FATHER
Ya hear that? My daughter Patty is using that old exercise machine she rescued from the attic. Was all the rage in the twenties. Grandma, of course, had to have one. Didn’t work then; doesn’t work now. (Chuckles.) Consistent at least. Makes a lot of noise and blows fuses. 

PATRICIA (Shaky voice from machine)
As I was saying, Babs, I think college is really swell! You should give it a try!

BABS (On the phone)
Oh Patty, are you going to the Halloween party tonight? 

PATRICIA
Oh, yes! And I’m hoping to lose a few more inches by then since I’m going with that dreamboat, Wilfred.

BABS
Wilfred?! What a slug!

PATRICIA
He’s coming as the headless horseman.

BABS
(Laughs.) It fits. 

PATRICIA
Come on Babs! That clodhopper Howard you’re going with is no Cracker Jack prize!

(Lights out on diorama.)

FATHER
Oh poor Howard. I wonder what they said about me when I was dating Sarah.

(Cuckoo clock chimes and ROVER barks.)

FATHER
(Chuckles.) You’re lucky, Rover—you don’t have to date. Well, we’re caught up in the do-it-yourself craze these days. We’re remodeling our basement as something called a “rumpus room.” And we’re looking forward to a few rumpuses, I tell you—as long as they don’t get out of hand.

(Lights up on SARAH behind the left scrim. She stands on a ladder putting up wallpaper while a food mixer stirs paint.)

SARAH
John, this papering is getting out of hand. I could use a little help!

FATHER
Now Sarah, didn’t I set up that clever automatic paint stirring machine for you?

SARAH
Yes John, you’re a genius… Of course this will ruin my food mixer—not that you’d care.

(Lights begin to fade on the diorama as the mixer gets louder and faster.)

FATHER
Oh, good old Sarah. Always the last laugh.

(The food mixer gets to its loudest and SARAH shrieks. ROVER barks.)

FATHER
What happened Sarah?!

SARAH
Oh, you and your progress! That paint mixer of yours just sloshed paint across my rump—er, rumpus… room.

FATHER
(Chuckles.) Now, how do you like that? I always say, if you’re going to be married, marry a girl with a sense of humor. Well, it’s time to move on. Let’s cheer up Sarah by singing our song. Come on. Everybody!

(Theatre begins to rotate to Act IV.)

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